It's A Wonderful Life
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Teacher!Phil/Student!Tony high school AU. "Tony's never believed in first sight, but how can he resist? Phil is in love with his movie taste, so why not? Nobody can stop them if they keep it a secret, after all." COMPLETE.
1. Part I

Author's notes: Okay, so for those of you who have read Checkmate, every time I wrote anything about Tony and Phil (before Sigyn) I just wanted to fuck the platonicness of it and have _them_ get together. I did not, though, so I made _this_ to suit my needs. This ship is so weird to me though. Like I don't ship them if they're the same age, but as soon as Phil is a teacher (be it high school or college) and Tony is his student it's just one of my favorites. So, enjoy my teacher/student AU! :P

It's 66 pages and just over 35,000 words, with three parts and an epilogue to it. And…well, actually, I guess that's it. Wow, okay, more short authors notes… Whatever!

Enjoy! :)

PS I haven't edited this yet sooo…feel free to tell me any grammar/spelling/whatever mistakes or things that are confusing to you so I can fix them!

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**Disclaimer**: None of the characters in this story are mine. They strictly belong to Marvel and whoever else has helped create them. Also any movies, bands, or other fandoms mentioned, obviously.

**Summary**: Teacher!Phil/Student!Tony high school AU. "Tony's never believed in first sight, but how can he resist? Phil is in love with his movie taste, so why not? Nobody can stop them if they keep it a secret, after all." COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: (Main) Phil/Tony; (Minor) Thor/Loki; Natasha/Clint/Bruce  
**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Warnings/Not-warnings**: multiple pairings types; smut; strong language

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[Part summary: In which Tony learns about love at first sight, buys flowers, and has friends that are far too nosy.]

**Part I**

_TONY  
September 10  
Monday…_

Tony Stark does not like people. People think that he likes people because he's so good with them, but that does not mean he likes them. In fact, he mostly just hates everybody. He just happens to have grown up with lots of people because of Stark Industries. If it were his choice, though, he would be taking high school online and his friends would consist of the random people that add him on social networking sites.

Instead, though, Tony is stuck with the seven people he's been friends with since freshman year, it now being his senior year. It probably would have been longer, but nobody ever has the same friends as they did in middle school unless the school is tiny, and SHIELD High School is far from _tiny_. Tony used to be friends with this guy Rhodey, but he moved away because his dad's in the army. Steve was friends with these three kids a grade above named Bucky, Peggy, and Sharon, but he's not really sure where they are now. Thor and Loki were friends with Jane and Darcy, but Loki hates Jane and Darcy doesn't really like Thor, so the four of them just tend to avoid each other. Clint used to be in a really heated middle school relationship with some girl that everybody called Bobby, but they broke up over the summer and don't even look at each other anymore. Bruce wasn't really friends with anybody, but he's had this crush a girl in their grade named Betty since the dawn of time. Pepper and Happy are the only ones that managed to stay friends, but it's not like they go out of their way to see each other. They just sort of…wave every once in a while.

Steve's sort of…huge. As a freshman he was scrawny and easy to pick on, but over the years he's gotten nearly as big as Thor. Both big boys have blonde hair and blue eyes, but Thor's is long and Steve's a bit paler. Also Steve likes art and basketball, but Thor's more into lunch and football. Clint's kind of blonde too, but it's more of a dirty brown/blonde mixture that nobody really likes trying to define. He has blue eyes, too, though darker, and he likes history and art. Pepper is the closest to being blonde, but she's more of an orange-redhead who dresses like she's a forty year old businesswoman and freaks out if you ask her to screw up her schedule for something. Natasha's a redhead, too, but its dark red and not orange-red. She's got blue eyes, too, and "used to be" Russian or something. Everybody called her Natalia when she first started going to school here but she didn't like it and beat up anybody who called her it, so Natasha it was. She likes wearing lots of leather, gym class, gymnastics, and track. Bruce is Tony's favorite, probably, simply because he likes science classes and chess. He's got brown hair and brown eyes, wears glasses, and is really shy unless you get to know him, in which you find out that he actually has a pretty shitty life and is always angry at something or another.

And Loki? Lord, Tony doesn't even know what to say about Loki. Shoulder length black hair, emerald green eyes, pale as a ghost, and a _dick_. He's almost pulling a prank on somebody or complaining about something or another, so Tony either calls him the God of Mischief or the God of Misunderstood Pain, because how many people have you honestly heard complain about a store not having their size in footsie pajamas? Also he's lived with Thor for as long as Tony can remember. They just tell everybody that they're brothers, but there is _no_ way, plus the added fact that they eye fuck more often than not and Tony totally got Thor to admit to it about a month before school started. Tony sometimes calls Thor the God of Thunder because he's loud as thunder and is always wearing this ugly red jacket with a lightning bolt on its back.

Tony's pretty sure that Pepper kind of likes Bruce, except if Bruce had to like anyone in their group it would probably be Natasha, and Natasha may or may not keep checking Steve out, but Steve doesn't really like anybody and Thor and Loki are obviously taken within themselves. Of course nobody likes _Tony_, but that's a given. Sure, Loki's a dick, but Tony could out-dick him any day of the week. He has, too. Multiple times. Loki's just annoying. Tony, though… Tony's an asshole, and proud of it. Not the asshole that everybody hates, either. The kind that everybody for some reason loves so that they're always inviting him to parties or trying to get him to sleep with them. Tony did a lot of sleeping around his sophomore and junior years, but it's not really his thing anymore. Too much work, too much drama, and too many girls freaking the fuck out about getting pregnant when it's not even his kid. Guy's are so much easier to sleep with, which is why Tony likes them better. He's not really picky, but if he had to choose between sleeping with a guy or a girl for the night he'd probably take the guy in a heartbeat. Just depends who they are and what they like.

Not that he's really had much _time_ to be a total Playboy this year, of course. It's only the first Monday of the year, after all. School started last Wednesday, so it's day four and counting.

"Did anybody do the homework this weekend?" Clint asks, picking at his breakfast as the eight of them are all sitting at a cafeteria table.

"I did," all three Bruce, Steve, and Pepper say.

"I did not," Thor says.

"I was sleeping," Natasha says. Most people would think she's super badass outside of school and goes to the gym or something all the time, but mostly she just sleeps a lot. She's actually pretty lazy and likes to walk around her house in sweats, an old gym t-shirt, a bathrobe, and fuzzy socks. She showed up at Tony's place like that for his birthday once. They almost slept together, actually, but not with any romance to it. Platonic sex? That's just how their relationship works, really. Natasha doesn't really like people either.

"I'm a nerd, not a geek," Tony says, flopped onto the table. "Nerds don't do homework. Nerds create new elements."

"Thor didn't do his because he was doing mine," Loki says. "Did anybody else hear that the chemistry teacher got fired?"

"Yes," the table echoes.

Except Tony, who sighs and says, "But I _liked_ him."

"Tony," Steve sighs, "He told everybody to call him Pyro and the first experiment was to throw together whatever chemicals you could get your hands on to see who makes the deadliest poison or the biggest bang. That's not even _remotely_ safe."

"But it's fun," Tony says, sitting up. "Explosions are fun."

"And dangerous," Natasha says from where she's sitting on the table before bending backwards to slide off of it and land on her hands before dropping slowly back over to her feet. "Come on, bell's gonna ring."

It rings. She always knows exactly when it's going to ring. Whether she has a built in clock and knows the school schedule or is just physic, Tony doesn't know and doesn't really care.

They mutter goodbyes (Monday's and the fact that they're all used to staying up till four in the morning and sleeping in till four in the afternoon from the summer is not a good combination) and trek off to their respective classes. Tony happens to have chemistry first period, also with Loki, but they don't sit with each other because Loki actually has some other friends (who the fuck names their kid Skurge?). Besides, random people always try to snag the one open seat beside wherever Tony chooses to sit because he's "so cool" anyway that Loki couldn't sit next to him if he wanted to. Which he doesn't want to, and Tony doesn't want him to either. They're kind of like frenemies, but more enemies than friends. Mostly the only reason Tony puts up with him is because Thor would beat him up if he didn't.

When the bell rings, there's no teacher, so Tony starts contemplating how long he should wait until he just leaves.

"Do'you think the new teacher will be hot?" the girl beside him asks.

"Don't know, don't care," Tony says, pulling out his phone. There are some days when he honestly can't pull off the social façade, and today is one of those days.

She scoots closer to him. "Whatchyuh doin'?"

"Nothin'."

"Doesn't look like nothin'."

"Yeah, well, it is."

The door bursts open before she can say anything else to reveal someone hidden behind a stack of books a few inches above his head. It's a guy, definitely. As far as Tony can tell he's wearing a suit and chews his nails, but that's about it.

"Sorry I'm late!" he calls over the books as best he can. "First day on the job and I had way too much to do before I got here." He drops the books onto the desk in the front of the room. "It is going to _suck_ getting up this early every morning."

Tony's jaw drops, but he quick snaps it shut before anybody sees it.

"Do you know him?" the girl beside him asks.

Damn.

"Uh, he looks familiar," Tony lies, putting his phone away.

Tony's never believed in love at first sight. There are too many pretty boys, douchebags, and two-faced bitches for that. But there's something about this one. _This_ is the one he falls in love with? _This_ one, with a suit—complete with a tie even though he doesn't look older than twenty-five? The one late to class and then complains about how early they're going to have to get up every morning? Tony is never late to his classes (hard to believe, he's well aware) and he gets up at five every morning simply because he _can_.

"Anyway," their new teacher continues. "My name is Phillip Coulson, and I'll be the new chemistry teacher for the year." He picks up the pile of books again and manages to set them onto the floor without making it look as difficult as it did when he was just carrying them. "Are you the type of class that wants to go around playing 'the name game' or would you rather just get started with homework?"

Everybody instantly votes the name game plus whatever your favorite movie is, and Tony automatically tunes it out until it gets to Loki, since he's just a few people away from him. How a guy can be named of Norse decent and his favorite movie be in French, Tony will never know.

"Uh, Tony Stark," he says after the girl beside him says hers (which he still didn't catch). "And, I guess, uh…" Yeah, he's definitely not going to announce to the class what his _actual_ favorite movie is. It's A Wonderful Life has been his favorite since he was a kid. He's not really sure why, either. It's pretty boring. But he doesn't want to say some comedy like Mean Girls, either. He wants to seem sophisticated. Any guy in a suit and tie would rather hear 2001: A Space Odyssey than White Chicks. "Independence Day?"

Mr. Coulson chuckles. "Good choice."

And that's it. He moves on. Tony doesn't get it. A "good choice" and that's it? Tony has _always_ been asked about his dad when he introduces himself. This is just…this is weird. He's not used to it. It's…wonderful.

Maybe Tony's discovered love at first sight, but the class is still boring. Tony's not really a school sort of person. He's more the…you know, Pyro type. "_Explosions are fun_" and all that jazz.

When class is over, he and Loki end up walking out together.

"Saw your face," he whispers.

Tony glares at him. "He looked familiar. What's it to you?"

The creep smirks. "Familiar my ass. You _like_ him."

"Loki, he's our teacher. Quit it." He would have said something about the fact that Coulson is also a guy, but that's pointless considering that most of the school knows that Tony would shack up with whatever gender asked.

Loki shrugs, putting his hands into his pockets and swiveling on his heels to go the other direction. "Suit yourself. I was fully willing to help you out, too."

Tony rolls his eyes, continuing on. He wouldn't let Loki help him if his life depended on it.

**OoOoOoO**

_PHIL  
Monday…_

Phil has made it his thing that he'll stay at least half an hour after school gets out unless he has something specific he needs to head off to, and that way any students that need help on an assignment or any of his fellow teachers can come and talk to him.

His first day on the job, though, he didn't expect anyone to come in, but someone does anyway. Phil recognizes him instantly as the Stark kid from his first period class, whose favorite movie was Independence Day. Who doesn't love Will Smith? Phil's own favorite is nowhere near as exciting, not to mention the fact that it's a black and white Christmas film… Who doesn't love the classics? It's A Wonderful Life is definitely one of the classics.

"Heyuh, Coulson," he says in the same cocky tone Phil heard him use all day. He's heard a bit from Principle Fury and the other teachers about him. Something about not letting him get away with anything. It's hard not to, though. Even just today Phil learned that he's damn hilarious, not to mention painfully sarcastic.

"Afternoon, Stark," he says.

He wrinkles his nose up. "Ew, formality. Can I call you Phil?"

Phil gives a light smirk. "Not today. Anything else I can help you with?"

"Actually," Stark says, spinning on his heels. "No, there's not. See you tomorrow!" And he's off with a wave, throwing a swaggering wink over his shoulder.

Phil blinks confusedly at the door, wondering what exactly just happened.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
Tuesday…_

Tony knows that Phil likes him. Maybe not _like that_, but enough so that he can actually call the teacher his friend—and his first name, which he just rolls his eyes at during class. Tony's stopped by after school a handful of other times as well, one time asking for a quick explanation on the assignment because he realized halfway through that he had literally not heard a thing because he was too preoccupied with staring at Phil's face.

And now…well, now Tony doesn't even _know_ how he manages to end up at the flower shop nearest their school ten minutes before his last period class is over, but hey, shit happens. He walks inside and goes straight to the roses, wondering why the hell he paid so much attention in sophomore biology to actually remember the specific "meanings" behind types of flowers and foliages.

He picks out five of the lavender roses, knowing that they're meant to symbolize enchantment and love at first sight. He hopes to everything holy that Phil—er, Mr. Coulson doesn't know what they mean as well.

He's not getting them to ask him out or anything, they're just a "welcome to the rowdiest school ever and good luck 'case you'll need it" sort of thing. Because, you know, a male student giving flowers as a gift like that to a male teacher is totally normal.

He sits in the parking lot for five minutes after the bell rings before swinging out with the vase of roses, winking at anyone who asks who they're for or tries to give him any other bad times. Today was, in fact, one of those days he could put up with everyone else just fine.

He goes in through the back door of Phil's classroom, the one you access from the back of the school. Phil looks up and grins, but it falters when he sees the flowers.

"Are those for—" he starts, but Tony cuts him off:

"For you? Yeah, but not for the reason you're thinking." (Lies.) He sets it down on the desk he teaches behind at the front of the classroom. "You're room is really fucking bland and I'm fixing it up for you."

Phil chuckles, taking the vase and moving it over to sit on top of one of his filing cabinets. "How thoughtful of you," he says. "Why lavender roses, though?"

Tony gives his best poker face. "Same reason as most things, really. Why not?"

Phil smiles, sitting back down at the chair behind his desk. "How'd you get them and get back here so—" He cuts off with a laugh. "You ditched out on your last class, didn't you?"

Tony shrugs. "I have an A in English anyway."

"Don't you have A's in _all_ your classes?"

Tony smirks, crossing his arms and sitting on the student desk closest to Phil. "Not the point."

He gives a good natured eye roll. "Doin' anything tonight?" he asks absentmindedly as he grades some papers on his desk. "I know it's Tuesday, but… I don't know."

Tony grins to himself. He didn't even have to be the first to ask. "Actually, I was wondering if _you_ were doing anything."

Phil freezes for a split second before looking up. "You want to hang out with your chemistry teacher?"

"Favorite subject? Yeah. New favorite teacher? I think so. Don't look so uptight, geez. I'm not asking you out or anything. I'm bored and all of my friends have plans." (Totally not true. Bruce never leaves his house, Steve is working out in his bedroom, Pepper is working on the homework she got from her two college classes since she's a part-time Running Stark student, Natasha is sleeping, Clint is doing who the fuck _knows_ what, and Thor and Loki are probably going to have another night filled with sexual tension because they obviously haven't fucked yet.) "Just a movie or something. Nothing romantic, ew. We can pretend you're my dad or whatever."

Phil snorts, setting down his pen. "I really don't think I could pass off as your dad."

Tony looks down at the ground, pursing his lips. "No, I suppose you're nothing like him."

Howard is…not Tony's favorite person. Tony's mom, Maria, died when he was in sixth grade, and Howard instantly did was she would never let him do: he kicked Tony out. Not onto the streets, but just out of the same house. Money is no object to a Stark, so Howard bought Tony his very own house close enough to school that he could ride his bike (and he bought him an Audi R8 as soon as he turned sixteen).

It's just one story, but long, with two bedrooms (Tony having turned one into a home theater), a kitchen, a dining room (littered with experiments and never eaten in), a very nice living room (where Tony eats and does his homework), a laundry room, two bathrooms, an attic that Tony rigged up with a telescope, and a basement that he's got so much to do in it's pathetic. There's a boxing ring, a pool table, a tent with a couple of sleeping bags inside for if any of Tony's friends stay over, a fridge stocked with alcohol and other things (partly for weekends, partly for the parties he gets invited to; most of the alcohol is kept in the kitchen fridge, though, since no one is ever over to lecture him for it), and a mini-freezer that he keeps any sketchy experiments in. the house is white with red trim and a small yard that's only used in the summer if Natasha wants a tan or Clint wants to bring over his slip 'n slide.

Howard gives him a certain amount of money every month, and Tony knows how to use it right. He separates it out for gas, food, bills, and anything else important before he spends it on whatever else (and there's plenty to do that with).

Tony realizes that Phil is trying to get his attention, and he looks up to a very concerned look.

"Stark, are you—"

"I'm fine," Tony says, standing. "I gotta go." He all but runs out of the main door of the room, feeling like a total idiot. What is he doing? For fucks sake, he just brought his chemistry teacher a vase of _flowers_. He doesn't even know how old the guy is! Tony is seventeen, and the guy's at least twenty-three.

"Stark, wait!" Phil calls from the door. The halls are abandoned. Nobody stays here any longer than they have to.

"It's cool, Coulson!" Tony calls back, turning around to walk backwards. "There's nothing good playing at the cinemas anyway!"

"I didn't say no, Stark."

Tony stops walking. "What?" he asks, incredulous.

"But I also didn't say yes," he says with a shrug.

Tony can't help but grin. "If we use my home theater room we can watch Independence Day."

Phil gives the tiniest smirk. "That's all you've got?"

"I have everything."

"Come back here and we'll talk."

Tony rolls his eyes and does, following his teacher back into the room.

"The reason this is a bad idea," Phil starts out with right away, instantly causing Tony to frown, "is that I am in fact your _teacher_, and if anyone sees us outside of school together that _does_ know I'm not your father…well, it might not be pretty. Nothing much will happen to you except the possibility of humiliation, but any _number_ of things could happen to me."

Tony just rolls his eyes. "It's a movie, Coulson, we're not going to fuck on the couch."

Phil gives another tiny smirk. "That's not the point."

"If I had known you were going to talk me out of it some more I would have kept walking."

Phil sits down in his chair, giving Tony a hard eye. It's nothing stiff, it's just his usual look. The guy dresses in suits and doesn't take shit. Tony thought he'd be one of those cool, lenient teachers, but he's actually pretty hard-ass and doesn't like accepting lake homework assignments.

"Name me three good movies that you have."

Tony grins, sitting down on his own desk again. "Depends what actors you like."

"Angelina Jolie, Will Smith, Dustin Hoffman, and Mel Gibson."

"SALT, I, Robot, Hook, and the Patriot."

Phil actually gives a pouty sort of look. "Those are some of my favorites."

Tony wags his eyebrows. "I won't tell a soul."

"What about your parents?"

Tony mashes his lips into a tight line. He isn't ready to tell him anything about the fact that his mom is dead and his dad hates his guts. "They won't care. Trust me. They're not even around right now. Stark Industries business trip or something."

The teacher gives a sad look. "I still don't know if it's a good idea."

"I got you flowers!"

Phil snorts again. "Yes, well, I wouldn't have sex with you just because you bought me a drink at the bar, either."

Tony sighs, standing up. "Alright, alright, fine. Stay here and grade papers and then go to some bar or be bored at home by yourself. See if I care!" He says it jokingly, but it works nonetheless. Tony knows his stuff.

Phil sighs as well, looking over on the opposite side of the room. "I couldn't make it over to your place right away anyway. I really do have papers to grade."

Tony can't help but give a bright smile as he steps over to the desk, grabbing up a sticky note and his red pen. "This is the address," he says, pushing it over to him. "It's white with red trim and only one story. I know I'm a Stark, but…" He gives the pad a tight look. "Just don't ask." He shoves it over to him. "Show up whenever. I never sleep anyway."

He stands, taking in the light smile that Phil is giving him. Not one of those "wow I sure am excited for this", but just a smile you give to someone when they're looking at you. Tony would rather the other, of course, but beggars can't be choosers.

"I'll find it," he says, looking over the address.

Tony has to force himself not to skip out of the room.

He still doesn't know what he's doing.

**XxX**

Tony quick fixes his hair in the mirror right inside of the door before swinging it open, giving Phil (does he always wear suits?) a bright smile. "Hey, you made it," he says, noticing the sleek black Viper parked out front. Very nice.

"Yeah," he says, giving the tiniest of shrugs. "I'm glad you convinced me. My cat is not exactly good company."

"Come on in, then!" He closes the door once they're both well inside. "You're a cat person, then?" he asks, taking Phil's jacket and hanging it on the pegs just to the right of the door.

Phil laughs. "No, definitely dogs. Cats are just…easier. No walks or playtime, since she's full-grown. She demands petting on occasion, but for the most part she'd rather just be alone. It's very nice when you're living by yourself, because if you hear a noise you can just chock it up to the pet so you don't freak out and run around with a baseball bat."

Tony laughs, hands in his pockets. He doesn't have a cat. Should he get a cat? No, he doesn't want a cat. He'll get a robot instead. "A her, then? What's her name?"

Phil grimaces. "It's Jim."

Tony blinks. "Jim?"

"I got her a while ago and apparently I'm really bad at telling what gender cats are, so she's a Russian Blue named Jim. I didn't feel like changing it to Jill or the like."

"But your first choice in naming a cat was _Jim_?"

He shrugs again. "What can I say? Creativity is not my strong point."

"We'll have to fix that," Tony says with a laugh. "Come on, kitchen's this way. Got a poison of choice?"

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "You certainly don't _look_ twenty-one."

He scoffs. "A seventeen year old senior who doesn't drink? I think not." He swings open the fridge, showing off his stock. Mike's, Smirnoff, Bud's, vodka, whiskey, rum, some wine, blah yada blah. Anything you want, Tony's got it.

"Oh my," Phil says, looking passed the food. "Do your parents drink a lot?"

Tony sighs. "No, uh… Well, yeah, my dad does, but not from this fridge. He has another one in the, ah, basement. Long story. What kinda drinker are you, unless you're dry, in which case I've got some orange juice or coke for whatever mixes I come up with. There's cooler beers, hard liquor, wine…all that good stuff."

Phil purses his lips. "I should really tell you to do away with all of this, but…" He shrugs. "Being here in the first place is bad enough, so I guess I'll have the wine."

Tony chuckles. "I'm more of a scotch kind of guy."

"You're seventeen?"

Tony shrugs, pulling out a bottle of each. "I've been drinking for a while. It's an acquired taste, I suppose."

Phil rolls his eyes as Tony grabs two glasses from a cupboard, one for one and one more of a beer glass for himself. Phil picks up the wine bottle after Tony has poured his, next pouring his own.

"The Gigondas of the Château de St.-Cosme?" Phil asks. "This stuff is definitely not cheap. Where did you get this?"

Tony smirks, taking it and the rum back to the fridge. Most people don't keep hard liquor in the cold and just add some ice, but Tony lives alone and therefore can be as weird as he pleases. "I know some guys. Well, a lot of guys. If you ever need a joint, you know where I am."

Phil gives a choked sort of laugh. "I suppose that shouldn't surprise me."

"What, that I've been high before? At least I don't smoke cigarettes. That shit is disgusting. I'm not in this life for lung cancer anyway."

"Good for you," Phil says, taking his wine glass as Tony knocks back some of his scotch without even a face. His teacher looks impressed, which Tony was totally going for. "I got out of it a few years ago."

Tony nods, trying very hard not to watch him sip from his own glass. "Good for you too. Movie?"

"Mmm, yes please."

He follows Tony to the theater room, wherein Tony almost trips over a stack of DVD's.

"Whoops, I forgot these were here." He pushes against it, forcing it to tumble over. "There we go, out of our way."

Phil starts to laugh, but he cuts off, bending down to look at the movies. "Wow, you really do have everything. I thought I was the only one who knew the Dark Crystal even existed."

"Come on, a Steven Spielberg that I haven't seen? As if. Have you ever seen the Lost World."

Phil grins up at him. "The silent film from the twenties?"

"Shit, Coulson," Tony says, laughing. "We were totally made to watch movies together."

"Now I'm definitely glad I didn't stay home with my cat." He picks up a movie. "I have not seen this movie in _years_."

Tony bands down and snatches it up, looking at the cover to see that it's The Count of Monte Cristo. "I fucking love this movie. We should totally watch this one. I have no idea what his name is, but I would totally bone Edmond's actor. I mean, you know, his best friend that turns on him. He was in Lockdown, too." He walks over to where the DVD player is. "Have you seen that one? It's new-ish, about the chick who goes up to a jail in space and he has to go and rescue her. I'm pretty sure he's not American, but who knows."

Tony turns back to grin, but Phil just has a confused look on his face. "Bone?" he asks.

Tony snorts, putting the movie in. "_How_ old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

Tony skips around in his head. Six years is fine, right? Except that there's no chance. He's doing pretty good tonight, though! "No wonder. It means fuck."

"You'd fuck Edmond?"

"The term is 'bisexual', Coulson."

"I know what the term is, but I was just wondering why you'd choose him over the one who plays the count—or his wife that marries Edmond to cover up her pregnancy."

Tony smirks, definitely catching the stumble. He never thought this would go anywhere this good. He was honestly just going to watch the movie, but now… Well, now he'll have to think up a plan. "I knew I liked you."

Phil shrugs, going over to sit on the front of the two couches in the room (Tony's friends like to pile over and watch movies together sometimes). "Anything for someone with such a superb film taste."

"Want a blanket?" Tony asks. "I myself am only occasionally the 'cuddling in a blanket during a movie' type, and tonight is not one of those nights."

"I'm good," Phil says. "I'm never that type."

"Suit yourself," he says, knocking back the last of his scotch before setting it well out of range of being kicked over even though it's empty. Phil is on one end of the couch, and while Tony totally wants to lean against him, he takes a deep breath and sits down on the opposite side instead.

Towards the beginning of the movie, probably not even twenty minutes in, the count before he's a count and his not-until-later wife kiss and swim naked in the ocean. Tony's not really sure if Phil is feeling at all awkward, but he's going to feel it in just a few seconds, so he quick pipes up:

"Ew, kissing."

Phil laughs. "A senior boy like you? I doubt it."

Tony laughs back. "Like _me_? What's that supposed to mean?"

"'Like you' being referred to _all_ senior boys. Not just _you_."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Sure it did."

"I'm serious!"

"As serious as I am?"

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "What are _you_ serious abo—"

Tony cuts him off by being across the couch in less than a second and kissing him softly. It lasts only a couple of seconds before he pulls away by about an inch so he can see Phil's face.

He looks terrified. "I should go," he says.

"No!" Tony says, leaning forward and kissing him again. "Stay," he whispers, reaching up and resting his palm against Phil's cheek. "Please stay."

Phil pulls his hand away. "Tony, I _can't_. We talked about this; it's not professional. I'm a high school teacher and you're my student who's not even of legal age yet. I can get fire _and_ thrown—"

"Not jail," Tony says, shaking his head. "I'm seventeen. It's legal at seventeen if you're under thirty, and you're twenty-four."

Phil shakes his head as well. "If your parents for some unplanned reason walk in—"

"They don't live here."

Phil frowns. "What?"

"My mom died when I was in sixth grade, Phil. My dad didn't want me around so he gave me my own place. I live by myself."

He looks like he's grappling with many things to say, but he eventually chooses: "And you're not out on the street yet?"

"No, he still pay for everything. He gives me money once a month that I know how to use to survive just fine. But I live by myself. I'm always alone."

Phil looks appalled. "You're always _alone_?"

Tony frowns. "Well yeah. If you had the money wouldn't _you_ send your kid away? Kids suck."

"No! Tony, I'm a teacher, I'm around you all for a living—and parents should _never_ do that to a child."

Tony sits up, crossing his legs. "They shouldn't?"

"No, of course not! You should"—He sighs. "I suppose it's all you've known, isn't it?"

Tony nods. "I've lived by myself since I was in sixth grade."

Phil's eyes widen. "You've been all by yourself for six years?"

"Well, I have friends over sometimes. Bruce, Natasha, Steve, Clint, Thor, and never Loki. And you…" He leans forward to kiss him again.

Phil pushes him away before he can. "Just because we _are_ alone does not mean this is suddenly okay. You've probably seduced people hundreds of times in this room to—"

"No I haven't," Tony says with a frown. "You're only the second, and the first didn't even happen. I don't like people."

Phil gives an aggravated sigh. "Not the point," he says, standing. "I would love to finish the movie, but I don't think I should anymore. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't."

Tony is up and flipped over the back of the couch before Phil can barely take a step. "But _you're_ not opposed to it?" he asks, going right into his personal space. "You didn't say anything about not _wanting_ to do it. Just that you shouldn't."

Phil just sighs again. "I understand that you're only six years younger than I, Tony, but that doesn't mean we _can_. There are teacher/student boundaries and—"

"And _far_ too many things," Tony whispers, pushing up on his tiptoes to kiss him softly.

Hands grab a hold of his shoulders and simply push him away. "Tony, _no_."

Tony pouts out his bottom lip. "Please?"

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"I already told you why!"

Tony snorts. "Details."

"Stark, let me pass. I need to get my jacket and go. I can come back some other time if you can promise to be decent, but that is obviously not going to happen toni—"

Tony tries one last time, wrapping his arms tightly around Phil's neck and kissing him hard. Just as he's about to pull away, arms wrap around his waist, and Phil finally kisses him back. Tony smiles to himself and presses them together as much as he can to _feel_ him everywhere. Phil does a better job, though. He pushes Tony up against the wall beside them, arms unwinding from his waist to grip onto his sides.

Tony bites and sucks against his bottom lip, pulling the tiniest of moans from Phil's throat. His teacher pulls away and trails hot kisses down Tony's neck, biting at some points and kissing at others to draw the same moans from Tony.

That's when he must come back to his senses, though, because he pulls away again, so fast that Tony almost falls to the ground.

"_This is not right_," he says, mostly to himself. "I have to go, Tony. I'm sorry, but this cannot and _will_ not continue, not now and not ever again."

Tony hears the stern tone and knows he's not going to get any further. "Okay," he whispers, standing up straight. "I'll show you to the door."

They go in silence, and Tony hands him his coat in the same silence, and Phil stands for a moment in the doorway just to drag that silence on a little bit longer.

"I probably shouldn't come back to finish the movie, either," he says at length.

Tony leans against the doorframe. "Okay," he says simply.

"Thank you for your, ah, hospitality. I'm…sorry you're by yourself."

"You're welcome. And its okay, I'm used to it."

"I'll…see you at school tomorrow," he says as he steps outside.

Tony shrugs, closing the door behind him before whispering, "No you won't."

**XxX**

_Thursday…_

Tony doesn't go to school on Wednesday, nor does he go on Thursday. That's when he gets his first call: "Tony, where are you?" Pepper asks. "We've all been worried sick about you!"

Tony shrugs even though she can't see it. "I didn't feel like coming."

He hears a muffled _hey_ before Natasha is on the line: "Dude, you're getting a ton of homework and shit. It may be the beginning of the year, but that doesn't mean they'll be any nicer. It's senior year, after all."

"So? I'm a Stark. I'll be accepted wherever I want no matter what grades I get."

She sighs. "Well, you're not wrong. Will you be here next week?"

"Yeah, I'll show up then. Can you tell Bruce that he's cute and Loki that he's a cunt?"

She snorts. "Hey, Bruce, Tony says he loves you," he hears her say, and Bruce laughing faintly in the background.

"Does he have a message for me?" Thor asks loud enough that he sounds _right there_.

"No, but he said that Loki's a cunt."

He can almost _hear_ Loki's smirk. "You can't use an insult that you're not getting," he says cockily.

And that's how Thursday goes. And Friday? Well, Friday has yet to come….

**OoOoOoO**

_PHIL  
Friday…_

Phil sighs as he's packing up his papers for the afternoon. He can't help but feel that he was maybe a bit hard on Stark, so the fact that he didn't come to school (or at least his first hour chemistry class) Wednesday, Thursday, _or_ Friday isn't _that_ surprising…but he wasn't _that_ hard, was he? Okay, maybe he was hard down there, and he was technically hard "on" the kid, but that's not what he means. He _had_ to be harsh or Tony would have kept coming onto him and Phil would have let himself stay. That's not okay! Phil is a twenty-four year old, closet gay, high school teacher that only barely got this job because he happens to know the principle a bit too well.

And Tony is…well, he's a seventeen year old high school _student_ that lives by himself off his father's money and apparently doesn't like people but has a great taste in movies. He's also a senior boy, horny, and ready for action. Phil can't help but wonder who the other person was that he tried to seduce in his theater room, though… He probably doesn't even know them, to be honest. Doesn't mean he doesn't want a name. Maybe he'll go ask! No, what an idiotic idea; that would mean going back. This, on Friday night, should not sound so tempting…

He sighs again, closing his coded briefcase before swinging it off the counter and walking out of his classroom door. It's his usual thirty minutes after school was let out, which he stays behind to do both the usual teacher work and/or to help any students that happen to come by.

He's got a nice car, but not one he bought himself. It was his grandmothers (she was "hip") before she passed away, and he was able to continue to afford its insurance, so he kept it. He's a teacher, not the owner of Stark Industries. He can't afford to let his son live off on his own because he doesn't like him—not that he has a son, but that's not the point.

He sighs _again_, getting into his car. Who would do that to their child? At the very least they could keep them in the house but just ignore him. But to send him away entirely the moment your wife/his mother dies? It's not even a boarding school! He's just _alone_! Yes, alone…

Phil shakes his head back and forth to clear his head and then starts the car. It's Friday, he probably has friends over anyway. Just because Phil is tempted does not mean he should give in. There _are_ teacher/student boundaries, meaning _he can't do it_. Can't kiss him, can't grope him, and he certainly can't sleep with him. The kid's only seventeen anyway; he should be waiting for graduation or something.

Not that Phil did… He was, what, sixteen? Yeah, that's right. Maria Hill, who was, at the beginning of the year, an eighteen year old junior at the time that Phil was a sophomore. She works above him, now, as the vice principle under Fury, which was embarrassing at first, but she's such a character that it really didn't matter. She just nodded when they saw each other and they continued on.

Then, at seventeen, his best friend convinced him to do some…what do they call it? Male-on-male experimentation? No matter, that's what it was. His best friend became his friend with benefits for the rest of their senior year, and then they lost touch with each other after graduation. As far as Phil knows he's going to college somewhere across the country to become a doctor.

Phil didn't really _do_ much of college…he did Running Start in high school, so he got a few education classes done, but really the only reason he got this job is because he's known Fury for so long. He grew up with him, not as a friend, but Fury as a friend of his parents. So Fury knows that Phil will be good at the job. Then again, he doesn't know about Tony… Phil's only a week into teaching and he's already being tempted by a student. How unethical is that, anyway? Shouldn't it be—

"Hang on," he says out loud, looking around. "Why am I parked outside of a flower shop?"

He sighs (he's done far too much of that this week). Of course this is where he is. Flowers for Tony. But to what? Apologize? For being ethical and decent? He's a teenager, for goodness sake! Phil's been one of those before—very recently, really—and he knows what it's like to want somebody. Hell, he still knows it. Maybe he'll just…swing by. If he wasn't at school all week the _least_ Phil could do is apologize for embarrassing him or whatever else it could be.

He makes his way inside, going straight to the counter. "What would I get to say 'I'm sorry'?" he asks the lady behind the counter.

She smiles. "Is it for a lover or a friend?"

Phil purses his lips. "Um…it's actually to apologize to a friend that we're _not_ lovers."

She winces. "Oh, one of those. Let me see what I can scrounge up."

A while later he's got a bouquet of purple hyacinth (which are literally supposed to mean "I'm sorry, please forgive me") and some white heather (which is supposed to symbolize admiration, but in this particular arrangement it's simply to add some more color).

"Good luck with your friend," she says, waving goodbye to him.

Phil grimaces. "Yeah, tha—oh, wait! Do you know what lavender roses are supposed to symbolize."

She nods. "It's supposed to be enchantment and/or love at first sight."

Phil's knees almost give out. "Thank you," he says, walking out.

He drives to Tony's, surprised that he somehow has the directions memorized already. He parks out front like he did yesterday and makes his way up to the front door, ringing the doorbell and wishing the front porch was a bit more secluded.

Tony opens the door, not looking up being he's clicking away on his fancy touch-screen cell phone. "I don't want to buy anything and no I do not want Jesus. My dad's asleep so you can't talk to him either. What do you want?"

"Flowers?" Phil supplies somewhat awkwardly.

Tony snaps his head up, eyes first at Phil's face before darting to the flowers, and then back. He's silent, just staring, so Phil speaks again:

"What are you doing here?" he eventually asks.

Phil holds the flowers out. "Apologizing."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "For what, exactly?"

Well, Phil didn't think of that part. He just sort of assumed it wouldn't be asked… "Everything," he ventures.

Tony shrugs and takes the flowers, retreating into his house.

Phil stands there awkwardly, not sure if he should leave or go inside…

"You can come in," he calls, walking towards the hall that holds the theater room.

Phil does, closing the door behind him and quick going after him. Tony doesn't go into the theater room, but passes it and the bathroom across from it to what is obviously his bedroom, AC/DC coming from inside at an almost ear-shattering volume. How did he even hear the knock on the door?

His room is decorated in lots of red and gold, plus the occasional cyan blue blob.

Tony turns his music off before going over to the nightstand beside his queen sized bed to where a vase is for whatever reason sitting, with fresh looking water and everything, and places the flowers into it.

"Uh…welcome to my room," he says, looking at Phil over his shoulder.

"Why did you already have a vase in here?" Phil asks.

Tony shrugs, turning around to face him completely leaning against his bed as Phil stands just inside of the doorway. "I didn't look up to see it was you at first," he says quietly, arms crossed as he looks down. "So, uh, yeah, my dad's not really sleeping. Not here anyway."

"I still can't believe he just sent you away," Phil says quietly, leaning lightly against the doorframe.

Tony shrugs. "I like it better this way anyway. We get along better when we're not together."

Phil gives a sad smile. "It's not supposed to be that way."

"The world isn't supposed to be this way either, but I suppose we'll just have to live with it."

Phil nods, deciding he should get to the point. What point? He doesn't even have a point. "Did you know that lavender roses symbolize—"

"Enchantment?" Tony finishes. He does a lot of that. "Yeah, I know. Love at first sight, too. And yours means that you're sorry and…something that doesn't really fit."

"It was just to make it look pretty," he whispers.

Tony sits down on his bed completely. "Why are you here, Mr. Coulson? If you were just here to apologize you would have been long gone by now."

Phil sighs, twiddling his fingers together. "I'm not really sure. Your room attracted my attention, so I stayed."

"That _all_ that attracted your attention?"

He looks up slowly at Tony, sitting casually on his bed, an ankle crossed over his knee, a pair of grey sweats hanging unflatteringly off his legs, and his t-shirt loose against his chest. He doesn't look any sort of sexy (well, not by societies standards, anyway), but Phil wants him. He shouldn't, he can't, but he does. He can feel the desire pooling through his stomach and into his groin, and Tony can probably tell as well. He's not showing it if he does, though. He just looks…bashful, almost.

"Yup," Phil says, voice completely betraying him. "Just the room."

Tony gives a warm smile and drops his ankle so that his feet are beside each other on the rug. "Want to know a secret?" he asks.

Phil shakes his head no, but finds that his feet are carrying him over to stand in front of him anyway. The boy stands and pushes up on his tiptoes to get to Phil's ear before whisper, "I'm not wearing any underwear."

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
Friday…_

Tony did it on purpose, of course. He's not stupid; he knows when somebody is going to come for him. He's had that vase sitting on his nightstand since Wednesday afternoon (changing the water at the end of every school day), and he hates sleeping with underwear on anyway. It's sexier in just sweats anyway, right? Tony thinks so.

So, when Phil lets out an almost agonizing groan at Tony's "secret", the student knows he's won. He's got a queen sized bed for a reason.

Phil kisses him hard, holding softly yet sternly to the sides of Tony's face. When he starts to push Tony onto his back, Tony instead pulls away to crawl backwards and get fully onto his bed. Phil kicks off his shoes as he crawls on after him, eyes dark with lust and filled with need. Tony can only imagine what his own eyes look like.

He pulls Phil down on top of him, grinding up and nearly moaning himself when he pulls one from the older mans throat. Their lips separate just long enough to get Tony's shirt off, in which Tony does moan as Phil's fingers and palms trace over the skin of his chest and stomach, and especially when a single finger slides down the thin trial of hair before tugging lightly at the front of his sweats.

They have to separate again to get Phil's clothes off.

"Blast you and your suits," Tony mutters, pushing the outer part off and tossing it carefully to the ground.

Phil lets out a breathless laugh as he takes off his tie. "I'll have to start wearing more t-shirts."

"Mmhmm." Tony starts to unbutton the white shirt. "Really tight ones."

They're kissing again as soon as everything above Phil's waste is on the ground, Phil's hands holding Tony's face again while Tony traces the planes of his chest. He rolls them over so that Phil is on the bottom, scooting down just enough that his tongue can slip out and slick a nipple.

Phil lets out a little hiss of pleasure, hands splaying through Tony's hair. Tony resists the urge to chuckle as he bites and sucks his way down, absolutely enthralled by how beautiful his teacher is. Twenty-four and he _should_ still have his body, so Tony has no complaints. He undoes his belt and tosses it onto the floor with everything else, Phil lifting his hips to help him in pulling down his slacks before they join the pile as well.

He leans back down to kiss Phil as he paws at him through his boxer briefs, feeding off of his little moans like a drug.

"Need to see you," Phil says, rolling Tony back over the way they first were and leaning up to get Tony's pants off as well. The widening of Phil's eyes lets Tony know that he didn't actually believe him when he said he wasn't wearing underwear, but Tony doesn't have any time to comment on it, because Phil leans down and swipes his tongue across the head.

Tony chokes out a moan, hands gripping tighter to the blanket as Phil continues to pleasure him with his tongue.

"Ah-hh, Phil," he says at length, "stop, I'm going to—"

But Phil doesn't stop, and neither does Tony, moaning incoherently except for the occasional "oh gods".

Phil leans up after sucking all of it down, giving Tony a smug sort of smile. His tongue darts out to snag an escaped droplet, and if Tony hadn't just come he probably would have again.

"Come 'ere," he says with a lopsided grin.

Phil does, kissing the grin away. Its weird tasting himself, but it's not _too_ bad. Kinda bitter, but he already knew about that particular taste.

"I want you, Tony," Phil says, trailing hot kisses over his neck and shoulders. "I don't care—well, I do care, but not enough. The boundaries I should be keeping. I want you anyway. I know you want me too… Gods, you are so beautiful."

Tony almost chokes on his smile. "Give me, like, two minutes and I'll let you do anything you want."

Phil pulls away with a grin. "I want to fuck you into your own mattress so hard that you won't be able to walk."

"Kiss me and you can do just that."

Phil smirks, leaning down. Just before he gets to Tony, though, he stops. "Is this your first time with a man?" he asks.

Tony purses his lips. "No, but I've never submitted before."

Phil grins. "I have. You'll be fine. Do you have lube?"

Tony nods. "Top drawer of the nightstand, right by the condom you can use."

The older man breathes a laugh, having to crawl off of Tony and across the bed to be able to reach said things in said location.

"How convenient," he says, going back over to Tony and setting the two things beside them. "Right where it's easy to access them."

He kisses Tony softly, among other things, to coax him back to life, and Tony is ready for more action sooner than later. The feeling of having a finger in there is odd at first, but the more that Phil stretches him the better it feels. He moans for more until Phil has stretched him with three fingers, in which the teacher declares that's enough. He strips himself of his boxer briefs and rips open the condom, about to do it himself before Tony reaches out and stops him.

He kisses him softly, trailing his fingers lightly over Phil's cock before putting the rubber on himself. He coats him with lube as well before grinning at Phil's breathy moans and lying back down on his back. Phil gives him a beautiful smile and leans back towards him, and Tony fills his entrance being circled twice before he tells Tony to take a deep breath in and then to blow it right back out.

He pushes in as Tony breathes out, just the tip. It's a lot bigger than the fingers, and right at first the foreign object is unwelcome, but Tony gets used to it nice and fast, and the next thing he knows is that he's rocking back and forth with Phil's thrusts, moaning in sync with his chemistry teacher.

Chemistry… Do they count as chemistry? A perfect one? Tony's sure that they could.

**OoOoOoO**

_PHIL  
Friday…_

Phil can't even remember the last time he felt so good. The way it feels to be inside of someone, panting below you as you stare into their eyes. The way a tongue can caress another and the way a brush of soft hands over any inch of skin they can reach can send a jolt through you of pure ecstasy. The way legs can wrap around a waist to pull you deeper than you could ever go before, and the way fingers can tangle in hair and bed sheets all at once.

Tony does all of that, taking to his first time on bottom better than Phil ever did. He makes the absolute sexiest eye contact, brown eyes practically black with their lust. His tongue dances around Phil's mouth like a fairy, and his hands trace over his chest and his back and his arms like the breath of an angel. He lifts his legs around Phil's waist about halfway through, putting him in such a position that his fingers curl tightly into the sheets as Phil can almost _sees_ the stars of a brushed prostate explode behind his eyes.

Yeah, Phil is definitely glad he didn't stay home with his cat on Tuesday night. Maybe they didn't end up doing this, but they're doing it now, and shit, Phil is so close, and the way that Tony's fingers are brushing over the back of his neck to pull him down for another kiss is almost hotter than—okay, it's not, much its close.

"Phil, fuck," Tony breathes before sucking in on Phil's bottom lip.

Phil moans unabashedly, dropping one supporting hand down to where he knows Tony's cock is so he can get them to come at the same time. When Tony does, he says Phil's name again, and damn, if that isn't sexy then Phil doesn't know what is. So he loses it right after him, moaning hard into the crook of his shoulder. He has no idea what he said, but there might have been a few coherent words in there—and hey, there might not have been.

Tony smiles up as Phil pulls out of him with a soft _pop_, pulling off the condom and dropping it into the small trashcan beside the bed. He lies down beside him, one arm draped over his stomach. He pulls the blankets up, rolling to face Phil.

"I don't know if you like cuddling," he says, wrapping his arms around Phil's neck, "but if you just lie here for, like, two minutes, I'll stop."

Phil gives a tired smile, _wanting_ to not move for two minutes, but he forces himself to pull Tony deeper into his arms. "I'd love to cuddle with you," he says, dropping his head back to the pillow and letting Tony burry his face against his chest.

"Mmm, good."

Phil has no idea how long they're lying there. It could be an hour, it could be ten minutes—but it's at least ten minutes. But Tony's phone rings, a screamo ringtone blaring.

"Ugh," he mutters, reaching over Phil to grab his phone off the nightstand. "Natasha is calling me. Don't even breathe or she'll hear you." He answers it with a, "I am busy, _woman_."

"Ooh, you _are_ at home. I was wondering who parked outside."

There's a faint sound of a door opening, and Tony hands up. "Fuck!" he says quietly, yanking the blankets up and over Phil so he's hidden. "Don't say a word!"

Phil sighs, weaving his fingers into one of Tony's hands as he "hides" beneath the blankets. He knew this was a bad idea—nonetheless, it has been worth it so far. Maybe she'll…leave. Probably not, though. Phil has Natasha Romanov in his third period class."

There's a single knock and a "HEY YOU!" yelled through the door before Phil hears it opening.

"Hey," Tony says awkwardly. "I didn't know Clint and Bruce were with you, two."

Phil has Clint Barton (who's even rowdier than Tony) in the same period as Romanova, and Bruce Banner (a nice, quiet kid who sits in the back and is totally acing the class) is in his fourth.

"Wow, you finally got laid again!" Clint's voice says, and suddenly there's a body jumping onto the edge of the bed, just shy of landing on Phil's legs. "Who is it, who is it?"

Tony gives an uneasy laugh. "Um…no one."

"You bloody liar!" Romanova says, and there's suddenly another body beside Clint's. "Chick or dude?"

"It's...uh, it's guy."

"Do we know him?"

"He, uh…he goes to school with us."

"I vote Loki," Clint says with an evil chuckle.

"That's absurd, Clint," Bruce says, coming over to stand at the foot of the bed. "Tony and Loki hate each other."

"The lump's too big to be Loki anyway," Natasha says.

"Yeah, that kid is _tiny_," Clint says. "Skinny as fuck."

"He's not anorexic, Clint," Bruce says.

"Nothing is ever going to convince that he's not. I have never once, in all my years of disliking him, seen him eat."

"I think he's cute," Natasha says with a shrug. "I'd sleep with him."

Tony snorts. "Oh, you'd sleep with Loki, but not _me_."

Is she… Is she the other one he tried to seduce in his theater room? Wow, he really goes for the lookers. Phil may be gay, but he knows an attractive woman when he sees one.

She laughs. "You're different. Maybe it would have meant something, but it never would have gone anywhere."

"I can't argue with that. Anyway, you guys should, um, go watch a movie… You know, get out of my room."

Two of them giggle before the two others on the bed leap off, making a huge amount of noise as they rush off to the theater room. The third (probably Bruce) goes slower, closing the door behind him.

"Don't move," Tony says to Phil, and Phil feels him swing out of bed and then hears a regular door lock before one or two far heavier locks as well. Tony lets out a deep breath, and his weight is back on the bed.

"Alright," he says, pulling the blanket back to reveal Phil's slightly traumatized look. "We're safe. Even Natasha can't get through my door. Trust me, I know, she's tried.

"Wow," Phil whispers. He knows voices are altered slightly in whispers, so if his friends happen to be listening through the door they won't be able to place his as their chemistry teachers'. "That was close."

Tony nods, leaning down and kissing him hard.

Phil doesn't _care_ if they're listening through the door, he reaches up and grips onto Tony's hips, pulling him over to lie on top of him. "What about my car?" he asks. "What if they see me in the car?"

"Mr. Coulson has the same car as you," he says in his normal voice, motioning with his head to the door. Obviously they are indeed listening through the door. It's a good thing Tony knows his friends well enough. "Worst case I have to explain that I'm not sleeping with our chemistry teacher."

Phil grins. This kid sure is brilliant. He pulls him down for another kiss, soaking in Tony's moans as he grinds up against him. He's beginning to care less and less about the fact that Tony is a student… He's not sure if he wants to be able to tell if that's a good or bad thing.

"Tony, come _on_!" Natasha yells through the door. "I want to know who it is!"

Tony rolls his eyes, turning towards the door. "I'll tell you later! Go away! We don't care if you listen to us! Except you, Clint, you creepy fucker."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME!" Clint yells.

Phil has to hold back his laughter, one snort escaping.

"Go have a three-way or something!" Tony yells.

There's silence outside of the door for a few moments, and then the first one to say anything is quiet, shy, adorable little Bruce: "Okay."

Natasha shouts for joy and Clint gives a very loud "YEHA", and then he hears them running through the house like a buffalo stampede, the front door opening and then slamming shut.

"Ugh, finally," Tony says, looking back down at Phil with lust stained eyes. He grinds down against him, pulling a breathy moan from his lips.

"Ar—are you sure they're gone?" Phil asks as Tony circles his hips above him, putting the exact right amount of pressure _everywhere_.

"I have no idea," Tony says, and Phil can't take his eyes off of the way he can actually _watch_ both of their cocks hardening. "We'll keep the door locked." He pins Phil down by his chest, kissing him hard. Phil lifts the leg between Tony's leg and arches his knee up to press against him, pulling a gasp from Tony.

"Fuck, you're hot," Tony says, leaning up to kiss Phil's neck, sucking heavily at his skin. He moans, dragging his fingers down Tony's back. "I want you again, dammit."

Phil grins, snatching the lube up from where it got buried in the covers. "Be my guest."

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
Saturday…_

Tony wakes up from some of the best sleep he's ever gotten, arms wrapped tight around an unknown body and those arms wrapped right back around him. Tony blinks groggily, the only thing he can see a pale chest. No boobs, so it's a guy. Tony wiggles his legs just barely, feeling for—yup, that's a cock, it's definitely a guy. He smells like a man, too, with a deep smell of vanilla and cinnamon. Tony pulls a deep breath through his nose, reveling in how good that smell is.

That's when it all floods back to him. The apology flowers, the sex in which Tony was on his back, the close call that ended in more sex between three of Tony's friends, the sex in which Tony was on top, and then the soothing whispers as he and Phil both fell asleep.

He cranes his neck over his teacher to see the clock, reading that it's just about to be three in the morning. Right, so it's Tony's usual bedtime. What time did they fall asleep? His body never lets him get more than ten hours of sleep if he hasn't drank enough (he only had one glass of scotch all the days he skipped school so he would be sober for whenever Phil showed up), but factoring the fact that he had sex twice in an hour or so, it was probably exactly ten hours. That means it was…five at night when he fell asleep. That sounds about right, really. School gets out at two-thirty, and Phil always stays half an hour after school, plus whatever amount of minutes to get the flowers… Tony didn't check the time when he showed up, but it was probably about three-twenty, which would have given an hour and forty minutes to get to the sex, have the sex, get others to have sex, and then fall asleep after the sex. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Tony snuggles deeper against Phil, which was a mistake, because his teacher starts to stir.

"Where the fu—oh." He gives Tony a tired smile. "Morning."

"Nope," Tony says, taking this opportunity to stretch. "Three in the morning."

"Oh," Phil says, stretching as well. "I have to pee."

"You can use that one," Tony says, pointing to the one connected to Tony's room. "I'll take the hall."

They flop back into the bed at about the same time, Phil pulling Tony back into his arms. "You have the most awesome bed I have ever slept in."

Tony grins, curling his arms up between them. "Glad you approve."

They lie there for a while, the blanket draped over them haphazardly, when the silence is suddenly interrupted by Tony's radio blaring on. Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" blares through the room somewhere in the middle of the chorus.

Tony blushes, sitting up to reach over and turn it off.

"You have an alarm for three in the morning?" Phil asks, sitting up and stretching his arms down to where his feet are.

"Like I said," Tony says, clicking it off. "I never sleep."

"No, no, I like that song, turn it back on."

Tony laughs, doing so. "This radio station plays anything it wants to. I've heard Black Sabbath, Ke$ha, and a song from the Disney Mulan soundtrack all right next to each other before."

Phil laughs, smiling as Tony settles done beside his hip, his fingers dancing along his back. "I can't even remember the last time that I was up at three in the morning."

"Yeah, it's not very good for me, but I'll get over it."

They sit (well, Phil sits) in silence a little while longer, before Tony breaks the silence: "The only way I'm going to fall asleep again is if I drink too much scotch."

Phil sighs. "Yeah, I think it's the same for me."

"Want to finish the Count of Monte Cristo?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Should we, ah, dress?"

"Ugh, a little. There's not much of a point, though. Even if we come out fully dressed, if anyone sees us they're going to _know_ what we were doing."

"_Will_ anyone see us?"

"It's three in the morning. I seriously doubt even my friends are going to…" He trails off. "No, there is one." He crawls over Phil and out of the bed, going over to press his ear to the door. "I swear to your god, Loki, if you seriously think you're—"

"Shut the fuck up, Stark," Loki growls through the door. "I know who you've got in there."

Tony groans, refusing to look over at Phil. "You fucking _dick_. Have you just been sleeping outside of my door?"

"Of course not. I brought my DS. You know I sleep even less than you do."

Tony sighs and looks over at Phil, an apologetic look on his face. "He knows."

Phil cringes. "Damn."

Tony unlocks his three locks and then the one on the handle, pulling open the door to have Loki fall backwards from having been leaning against it, grinning evilly up.

"I _told_ you I saw your face," he says, flicking at Tony's ankle and not at all deterred by the fact that Tony is almost standing right above him, his dick hanging right above him. "But no, you _denied_ it. I'm the best liar you ever did meet, Stark. I don't see why you still think you can get by me about things."

"You can't tell anyone, Lo'."

"Mmm, say it and I'll think about it."

Tony glares. "I'm not saying it."

He shrugs, looking over at Phil. "I'm sure Fury wouldn't mind an anonymous tip about his new employee, then."

Tony groans. "Alright, alright, shut up, I'll say it."

Loki looks up at him with a smug smile. "Say it loud, darling."

Tony sighs, looking up so Loki can't see his face and to the right of the door so Phil can't see it from where the bed is to the left. "You're better looking than I am."

"Louder still, babe."

Tony gives an unhappy moan. "You're better looking than I am, dammit! Now get the fuck off of my floor and out of my house!"

Loki giggles, arching his arms back to spring off of the ground like people always do in action movies, his DS in hand. "Ooh, I even got that recorded," he says, holding up his cell phone in the other and clicking the recording to end. "Blackmail is my favorite."

Tony grins.

Loki frowns, taking a step back. "What are you thinking?" he asks cautiously.

"If you even think about telling a soul I'll tell everyone that you and Thor are fucking."

Loki snorts, leaning against the doorframe. "Thor and I are brothers, Stark. We're not fucking, unlike some people."

Tony smirks, crossing his arms. "Thor told me."

Loki laughs. "Thor would never lie about that."

"I got him drunk, Lo'. You know how much he likes beer."

Loki pales even more than usual. "You didn't."

"Oh, I _did_. The mole and everything."

Loki's pale turns into a furious blush. "I'm adopted," he mutters.

"Mmm, yeah, sure you are. Delete the recording."

Loki grumbles to himself, doing so. "I hate losing to you," he mutters.

"Never try to outdo a man in his own house, Lo'. Now get the fuck out."

Loki sighs and goes, and Tony waits there at the door until he hears the front door open and close.

He sighs as well, looking over at Phil. "As embarrassing as that might have been for you," he says quietly, "Loki won't tell anyone."

Phil sighs even deeper, flopping onto his back. "This is way too dangerous."

"Yeah, probably," Tony says quietly, going back over to lie down beside him. "I'm glad you came, though."

Phil looks over at him. "Did I _say_ I was leaving?"

"Well, you certainly didn't say you were staying…"

He gives a warm smile, kissing Tony's forehead. Tony blinks a lot at it. No one he's ever slept with has kissed his forehead before. "I'm staying," he says softly.

Tony smiles and throws his arms around his neck, kissing him hard. "You're the best."

Phil smirks, tracing his fingers over Tony's side. "Aren't I?"

* * *

End part notes: Okay so there's going to be a party in the next part… This party is thrown by Vice Principle Maria Hill at her own house, and I just have to say that SHIELD High School (no I have not made up what SHIELD stands for) is the most non-professional school ever, and most of this would never happen ever but I put it in anyway because it was fun and crazy and hey why not? I just see Maria Hill as the hard ass whenever she's working, but as soon as she's off doing something other than her job she's totally legit. Whatever. Just a heads up!

Aaalso I make up the fact that Fury has a little sister, so I just grabbed a Marvel character for the job: Alisa Tager, called Cipher. I chose her because she's a super spy, and she'll be listed as one of the teachers in the next part. And again Phil is 5'10'' in the comics but I'm making him 5'9'' (like Clark Gregg) for reasons.


	2. Part II

[Part summary: In which Phil decorates his classroom, wears a pair of jeans for once, and realizes just how abnormal it actually is where he teaches.]

**Part II**

_PHIL  
Monday…_

After having finished the Count of Monte Cristo, Phil and Tony managed to make it back to Tony's room to go at it once more before falling asleep again. Phil left at about five in the evening, which means he was at Tony's for over twelve hours. If anyone had seen him… Well, Loki did, but Tony promises that that's been covered. Tony made pancakes when they were both up for good, and yes, Phil fucked him in the kitchen. Phil's had sex before, but fuck, the way Tony _sounds_… It practically turns him on even more than how it feels.

That doesn't make him feel any better about it, though.

How are they supposed to keep this a secret? Phil literally stayed over at Tony's for the tonight and they had sex four times in twelve hours. Maybe college professors and _their_ students can get away with it because they're all above eighteen years of age, but this is _high school_! If Loki tells a _soul_ Phil could lose his job, along with it being nearly impossible to get another one around here. Fury may know him, but he's not very lenient. Phil already spent the entire Sunday just flopping around his own house (which is only a couple of miles away from Tony's actually), forcing himself to grade some more papers and get together his lesson for the coming week.

Now it's the middle of school on Monday, during Phil's open period in which he doesn't teach a class. First period was practically a nightmare with Tony. Phil had made the mistake of looking over at him about three times, and the kid kept making faces at him, the first one an ugly one and pointed over at Loki, which Phil barely held his laughter back in the middle of his sentence. The other two, though, were some of the steamiest bedroom eyes that he's ever gotten, and after that he had to pointedly _not_ look in the student's direction for fear of an erection in class, because _damn_.

Phil looks up when someone knocks on his open door of his classroom to see Doctor Doom (it'd usually be "Mister", but since he has a PhD he refuses anything else, the uptight show-off… Dammit, Tony is rubbing off on him).

"Hey, Doom." Phil says. "What's up? Need help trading your fan letters punctuation?" PhD as he is, Doom is an English teacher.

"Hardy har," he says, rolling his eyes. "Fury actually wants to see you in his office. He yelled at me through his door to tell you. You know he doesn't like getting up when he doesn't have to."

Phil instantly panics. He knows. He can't know! Loki promised to keep his mouth shut!

He keeps his face totally blank, though. "Hmm, okay. Happen to know what it's about?"

Doom shrugs. "Possibly the fact that you're face is scaring the student, but I'm not sure."

"Oh wow," Phil says sarcastically as he walks away. "Great comeback, _doctor_. Really funny. Well you know what? SOME STUDENTS LIKE MY FACE."

A couple of girls in Phil's next class named Gwen Gwen and Mary Jane Watson stick their heads in. "You okay Mr. Clint?"

Phil cringes. "I'm fine. I'll see you girls next period."

He waits until they're gone before going out to get to Fury's office, knocking twice before going in. "You wanted to see me?" he asks.

Fury looks up with just his eyes. "What took so long?"

"Doom and I were fighting like middle school kids," he says, taking one of the two seats across from him before Fury asks.

Fury looks up completely. "Exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

Phil frowns. Definitely not panicking. "Sir?"

"Do you _have_ any friends, Coulson?"

Phil averts his eyes. "I did in college."

"How many?"

"…two."

Fury nods. "Odd as it sounds, Hill is having a party. It's for employees and the entire senior year. She has a big house. It's not mandatory, but I'm making it be for you. I like you, but you need something to do besides grade papers. I used to do that and it's how I lost my eye—no, I am not joking. You know I don't joke. Saturday, from two in the afternoon to whenever Hill feels like kicking everybody out. Come or you're fired."

Phil blinks a lot. There was a lot to process in all of that, but… "I'm sorry, did you say Hill? As in Maria Hill? The vice principle that I haven't seen smile since our own high school days?"

Fury actually smirks. "You don't know her at all, do you?"

"Apparently not."

"She was a stripper from the moment she graduated to when she got hired here."

Phil blinks some more. "She got straight A's and she didn't go to college?"

"Did you?"

"No, I… I didn't have the money."

"Precisely."

Phil nods. "I see. Are there, ah, any specific rules to the party?"

"You'll get an emailed invitation later today. Now get out, I have paperwork too."

Phil gets as far as standing before he stops. "Who are _your_ friends?"

Fury actually gives a full-out smirk, which is rather terrifying. "I'll see you at the party."

**XxX**

Phil actually expected Tony to show up after school, but when he doesn't…well, Phil shouldn't be disappointed, but he is. About halfway to driving home, his phone rings from a number he doesn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"_Phil!"_

The only reason he doesn't try to hide his smile is because he's alone. "Tony?"

"_Hi! I know you're not at school because it's after three. Where are you?"_

"Just driving home. I've never been one for friends."

"_Hmm, speaking of friends… You should come over. I have The Patriot!"_

Phil finds himself giving a laugh he never has in his life. "Yeah, I'll be right over."

"_Oh, about friends! Did you get Hill's email? I bet this one is gonna one hellavuh trip!"_

Phil frowns. "This isn't her first one?"

He snorts. _"Right, I forgot this is your first year here. She has one every quarter for the teachers and seniors."_

"You're only a senior this year, though. Did you sneak into the others?"

He snorts. _"Literally me and twenty-three others have crashed the party since I was a sophomore. Granted, that's only the last two years, but that's three parties a year, so…six times. Hill is cool, remember? Anyway, did you get the email?"_

"No, I was going to check it tomorrow."

"_Okay, I'll just show you mine then. Read yours too though, since teacher ones might be different. I'll see you soon, yeah?"_

"I'm pulling into your driveway now."

"_Ooh, I see your car. Don't turn it off and you can park by mine in the garage."_

"Yeah, okay."

They hang up, and a few seconds later, one of the two doors open. Phil drives in and turns his car off, not getting out until its shut. Tony is standing at the door that leads into the actual house, arms crossed. He's in those stupid sweats again.

"Where'd you get your car?" he asks.

Phil gives a guilty laugh. "Lame as it sounds, I got it from my grandma after she died."

He laughs. "That's alright, I didn't buy mine either. I didn't even pick it out. My dad gave me his old one."

"What year is it?" Phil asks, following Tony into the house.

Tony gives the same guilty laugh. "When I said 'his own car', I mean the one he got tired of so he got a new one…"

"Tony, honestly."

He sighs. "Two years old."

Phil snorts. "Just show me the email."

Tony laughs, taking his hand and pulling him down to the theater room. He picks up his phone from a shelf and scrolls around before handing it to Phil. "Here, knock yourself out."

Phil does, scrolling through it to learn the day, time, and a few rules that possibly concern teachers: don't come drunk or high, don't bring alcohol or drugs, don't mention alcohol or drugs, and don't bring pets. Phil does have Jim, but she's not really car fan.

"I'm pretty sure the teacher one is completely different."

"Exactly why I told you to read it anyway," Tony says, pocketing the device. "The Patriot?"

Phil shrugs. "Heath Ledger? Yes please."

Tony smirks. "He _is_ pretty hot."

This time, when Phil sits on his corner of the couch, fluffing a blanket over them and wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"You smell good," he says, burying his face against his chest. "But you're still in a suit."

Phil laughs, pushing his fingers through Tony's hair. "I'll wear jeans tomorrow."

"Promise?"

He grins. How many times has he grinned since meeting this kid. Well, "kid". Six years really isn't that much. "Yeah," he says, Tony leans up and kisses him softly, but Phil doesn't have any time to kiss him back before Tony pulls away and lets the movie play.

Phil smiles down at him. Tony really does like him. It's not just mindless sex even though he's a teenager. Dammit, Phil's gonna get in way too deep with this one…

Just halfway into the movie, though, Tony is back at Phil's mouth, kissing him hard. The movie pauses on its own (or Phil just misses Tony press the button) before Tony's hands are at Phil's pants, doing away at the belt and zipper.

"Shirt," he breathes before working at his own clothes.

Phil obeys, getting the top piece off and the white shirt only unbuttoned before Tony is pulling his slacks off. He lifts his hips at the same that that he manages to get the rest of the shirt off, and then Tony is crawling back on top of him, kissing up his chest.

"Fuck you're beautiful," Tony breathes, currying his face in Phil's neck.

Phil is pretty sure his face heats up, but he doesn't let Tony notice. Instead he drags his hands down Tony's bare sides and down to the front of his boxers, swallowing his moans.

"I want you," Phil whispers, biting at his earlobe.

Tony moans again, arching up to get their lips together again. "Then take me," he breathes.

Oh yeah. Phil totally does.

"Shit," Tony breathes, lying on his back on the couch. "I knew you'd take me, but SHIT."

Phil can't even smile or comment. He's sitting up in the middle of the couch, Tony's legs over his lap. He's pretty sure he never even came that hard in high school.

"Sorry," he eventually gets out.

"No," Tony says, shaking his head. "No apology. That shit was good."

Phil looks over at him. "You're welcome?"

He breathes a laugh. "Can you kiss me?"

Phil nods, forcing himself to lean over without just flopping. They kiss languidly, Tony pulling the blanket up over both of them. And then the cutest thing happens: Tony giggles.

Phil laughs, settling in between Tony and the back of the couch. "What was that?"

"You're so pretty," he says, folding to face him and folding his arms up between them.

Phil gives a somewhat embarrassed laugh. "Not usually the adjective I'm looking for," he says, "but you're not so bad yourself."

Tony laughs, grabbing up the remote and pressing play. "Don't fall asleep. Staying over on a school night would probably be a bad idea."

Phil chuckles, wrapping his arms around Tony as well. "Now I _feel_ like I'm in high school."

"What, instead of just fucking one?"

Phil knows that joking tone. It's not a full joke. He's glad for that tone, 'cause it's exactly what he wants to hear.

"Maybe a little more than fucking," he whispers into his ear.

Tony tightens his hold around him. "Don't fall asleep," he repeats.

Phil falls asleep anyway.

**XxX**

Phil wakes up to the most annoying alarm he has ever heard: farm sounds, including a crowing rooster, a mooing cow, snorting pigs, and a quacking duck.

"Mother of dick," somebody mutters, rolling away from Phil's arms around him. "Fucking balls." The body of the voice shoves at Phil's shoulder. "You fell asleep, you _asshole_."

Phil suddenly remembers exactly who the voice belongs to. "Shit," he says, sitting up to Tony kneeling on the ground in front of him. "What time is it?"

"Phil, shh, it's alright. There's still two hours until school stars. I don't sleep, remember? I get up early. You even have time for a shower."

Phil lets out a shaky breath. "I'm going to have a heart attack around you. Shower. Now."

Tony frowns. "Both of us?"

Phil gives an affectionate eye roll and stands, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "We've slept in each others arms twice; I think we can shower together."

Tony grins. "Hey, I'm not complaining."

Phil has given blowjobs before, but for some reason he's never given on in the shower before this morning.

"Bastard," Tony mutters, kissing Phil's cheek as the teacher is drying himself off.

Phil laughs. "I just gave you a blowjob in the shower and you're calling me a bastard?"

"I'm calling you one _because you_ gave me a blowjob in the shower. Do you have any idea how hard it is to sit through dull high school classes when I've had a morning start out like _this_? Not to mention the brilliant job you did last night. I'm going to have a hard-on all day!"

Phil laughs, kissing his forehead. "At least you won't have one while teaching an entire class."

"Touché."

Phil is out of Tony's house with exactly fifty-six minutes until school starts, so he goes back to his house to change his clothes first. As he promised, he changes into jeans. He only has two pairs, so obviously he picks the pair that makes his ass look better. He also puts on the only band t-shirt he's ever owned: Kiss. Who didn't love Kiss at one point?

Tony gets to school twenty minutes early, and Phil knows because he walks into his classroom with a huge box in his hands.

"What is _that_?" he asks.

Tony grins, setting it down on his desk. "You need to decorate more." He takes off the lid to reveal—

"Oh my," Phil says.

Christmas lights, fake plants, construction paper, bottles of glitter, and a strobe like that looks like it's meant to be hooked onto the ceiling.

Tony pulls out one of the two lengths of lights. "I'm stringing these around your room even though it's still summer."

Phil breathes a laugh and picks up the strobe light. "Where did you even get all of this stuff?"

"I have no idea," Tony says, setting off. "I found it in my basement."

Phil shrugs and goes with it, taking out some fake plants. The lights are the huge, multicolored bulbs that will light up an entire room almost more than regular lights.

"Oh good lord."

Phil whirls around, wide-eyed at Tony across the room. "What?" he asks. "Do you need help?"

"No, I… You're in jeans. I didn't notice until just now."

Phil chuckles, going back to the fake plants. "I promised, didn't I?"

"Yeah, I just… I was ready for ones that are too small for you since you never actually wear them. You look really good in those?"

Phil makes sure not to turn around so Tony doesn't see his blush. "Thanks."

Tony does that stupid (stupid being adorable) giggle again. "You don't get very many compliments, do you?"

Phil gives an awkward laugh. "Uh, no, not really. I don't really have any friends."

"Why not?"

"Because I sit at home with my cat and grade papers?"

"You don't even hang out with any of the other teachers?"

"Would _you_ want to hang out with any of the other teachers?"

Tony cringes a little. "Okay, good point. What about Hill, though? She's cool."

"She was my virginity loss in high school."

Tony is literally howling on the ground with laughter. "Shit, shit, tell me you're joking."

Phil rolls his eyes. "I'm not talking to you anymore."

He giggles. "Fine, I'll just stare at your ass from back here."

"Be my guest."

They finish with the lights and fake plants by the time that the first bell rings, so Phil quick puts everything else away so it doesn't look weird that Tony just helped him decorate his room. When Loki walks in, Phil from his desk and Tony from a spot in the back store him down before accidentally making their own eye contact, wherein Tony winks. Phil just rolls his eyes again and starts teaching his class. This kid is going to be the death of him…

**XxX**

_Friday…_

Phil and Tony don't hang out on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, partly to be less suspicious and partly because Tony actually has other friends. They did start texting, though, with Phil named "Hobbes" in his contact and Tony being "Calvin" in Phil's. Being as such, Tony kept Phil filled in on his exciting life while Phil sat at home with Jim.

On Tuesday he went to a movie with Bruce, Natasha, and Clint (**I didnt even know u could BE a 4th wheel!** was Phil's favorite text from that day), on Wednesday he went over to Steve's (apparently his family owns a farm on the edge of town, so they go quad and dirt bike riding all the time), and on Thursday he spent time with Pepper, Loki, and Thor (he wouldn't have picked Loki normally, but he has to if he wants to hang out with Thor—and yes, Loki made subtle comments about him and Phil that Tony got wonderful at ignoring).

Now, though, it's four minutes to three before Tony calls.

"Hey," Phil says, holding the cell between his ear and shoulder as he keeps grading.

"Hey, I'm hiding in my car across the street from school."

Phil frowns. "Why?"

"Uh, so… What does your house look like?"

Phil smiles. It's about the same general size as Tony's except that it doesn't have a basement. It's white and blue on the outside, with two bedrooms, and two bathrooms—he hasn't turned his second bedroom into a theater room, though. His kitchen is bigger than Tony's because he doesn't have a dining room, but the living room and two-car garages are about the same—except that one side is a mess, so if Tony is ever over he'll let him park inside.

"Want to find out?" he asks.

"Oh thank god. Bruce, Natasha, and Clint are using my basement and I _really_ don't want to be over there with them."

Phil laughs. "You know, you're the one that got them together."

He groans. "Don't remind me. Give me your address."

"Okay, pull in front of the right garage door, okay? I'll be right there to park on the left so you can park inside."

"Your left side is a mess?"

"A complete and total one." He rattles off the address as he puts his stuff into the briefcase he brings before going out to his car. Tony is where he's meant to be when Phil pulls in beside him, pushing the button in his car to open it. Phil swings out and goes in before closing it, and Tony swings out of his own car once it's shut.

"A complete and total one in_deed_," Tony says, looking over at Pepper's storage on the left side.

He shrugs, going to the door. "So sue me." Tony follows him in, shrugging off his sweatshirt and hanging it on the hook just inside.

That's when Phil notices that he's holding a box. "Is that…is that the Snakes and Ladders board game?"

Tony laughs. "Yeah, uh… It was in my car and I thought we could make a couple bets or something."

Phil grins. "Sounds good. Want anything to drink?"

Tony smirks as they walk into the kitchen. "I could think of a few things."

Phil chuckles, winging up to sit on his counter. He's always doing that. "No alcohol."

Tony smirks, leaning against the counter between his legs. "_So_ not what I mea—" He screams.

Phil doesn't even try not to hold in his laughter as Jim streaks passed his leg, leaping up onto the counter and into Phil's lap.

"Holy shit!" Tony says, breathing heavily at the fright. "I forgot about her, dammit!"

Phil smiles. "I'm just glad you remembered that she's a she. Tony, meet Jim."

Tony scratches between her ears. "Nice to meet you, you little bastard."

Phil just laughs again. "Want to go play that board game now?"

Tony nods.

They go and set themselves up on the living room floor. About halfway through, Phil notices Tony muttering to himself and pointing at the board. He waits until he stops before asking what he was doing.

Tony shrugs. "Just counting how many squares are on the board."

"Yeah? How many?"

He chuckles. "A hundred."

Tony beats him, and then he asks what movies Phil has.

He motions to the drawers under the TV. "Feel free to dig."

As Tony does, Phil stands up and goes over to close the blinds, flicking the lights on afterwards. No one could see them on the floor, but they might see them on the couch.

Tony gasps.

Phil whirls to him. "What is it? Did Jim scare you again?"

He just holds up what happens to be Phil's favorite movie: It's A Wonderful Life. Jimmy Stewart did a brilliant job at playing George. What _would_ it be like if you still existed but were never born?

"You own this?" Tony asks.

"Of course I do. It's been my favorite movie since I was in eighth grade."

"No way! It's my—" He cuts off with a cringe. "Okay, I know I said my favorite movie was Independence Day, but I totally lied so I didn't sound like a pussy."

Phil grins. "Put it in, then."

Tony does, spinning over to snuggle against him on the couch. Phil holds him tight (with Jim jumping up to curl onto the armrest at their feet) because he's warm and soft and-wait, is he whispering along with all of the lines? He is literally whispering to all of the words.

Phil stares down at what of his face that he can see, jaw dropped. He doesn't know how long he watches him, but the time sure as hell isn't short. Eventually he can't take it anymore.

Tony laughs as Phil kisses him, his hands soft against his face. "Are we _ever_ going to be able to finish a movie in one go?"

"Mmm, not with you quoting all the lines like that."

Tony grins at him, licks his lips, and says it word-for-word what's being said while staring Phil dead in the eyes.

Why that turns him on so much, he'll never know.

**XxX**

_Saturday…_

Phil has had some rude awakenings in his day, but waking up to a blowjob is not one of them. Tony is a god with his tongue.

"_That's_ what I wanted a drink of last night," Tony says with a smirk, licking his lips.

Phil gives a languid laugh, holding his arms out to him. Tony flops into him, kissing him softly.

"I fucking love the sounds you make," Tony says, burying his face in the crook of Phil's neck.

Phil laughs, pushing his fingers through Tony's hair. "I'll be sure to put together a mix-tape for you."

Tony snorts. "Dubstep blowjobs. My favorite."

"Mmm, yeah. Want some breakfast?"

He grins. "Just had some."

Phil gives an affectionate eye roll. "Some _solid_ breakfast."

"Definitely. Whatchyuh got?"

"Eggs, bacon, and toast."

"All of the above?"

He grins. "Sounds good to me. Do you need any extra…" He frowns. "Slacks?"

Tony laughs. "You don't even own any comfort clothes, do you?"

"I have pajama pants."

Tony grins. "I want those. You can have the sweats I bought." He points down to his legs, where Phil doesn't see until now that Tony has on the pair he's always got around. "Ta-duh! I thought ahead."

Phil smiles, reaching down and sticking a finger into the elastic. "A switch. Sounds good. My room's just down the hall, if you want to grab them off the bed. I'll start on breakfast."

Tony grins. "Sounds wonderful."

Phil struts off to the kitchen in nothing but his pride, whistling as he pulls out pans and things.

"Damn."

Phil turns around with a piece of untoasted bread in his mouth. "Whud?"

He laughs, already in pajama bottoms, and Jim rubbing up against his leg. "You are totally cooking for me more often." He tosses Phil the sweats, which he puts on how Tony usually does: no underwear.

Tony flits around the house closing all of the other shades before spinning around the kitchen, humming AC/DC songs and playing an air guitar.

Just as Phil turns off the burners, Tony wraps his arms around him from behind. "You smell good."

Phil can't help but snort. "I had sex, slept, got a blowjob, _and_ I haven't brushed my teeth yet…and you think I smell good? I've been sweating for hours."

"Maybe that's why. I set the table."

Phil cranes his neck back to see that, yes, the card table in the corner (why have a big one when you have no friends and usually eat in the living room?) is set with two each of plates, glasses, forks, knives, and napkins. The glasses are even poured full of orange juice. Phil forgot he even had any.

He smiles, turning around in Tony's arms to kiss his forehead. "You're the best. Bring the plates over and I'll dish us up. How much do you want? As you can see, I made way too much for just two people."

Tony grins, grabbing the plates. "I'm a teenage guy. The words 'too much' when involving food and many other things do not apply. Take what you want and then give the rest to me—and _then_ I'm brushing _my_ teeth."

Phil obeys, filling Jim's bowl with cat food and changing out her water before sitting down with Tony, who he watches eat in awe. He remembers his own teenage years, and he's pretty sure he never ate as much as Tony is right now.

"How are you still in shape?" he asks.

"I work out with Steve a lot," he says around his last mouthful. "Sometimes Thor and Clint, too."

"Not Bruce?"

"No, he works out with Natasha. he's got anger management issues, right, and one time he almost put her in the hospital because she was closest to him when he got angry. Ever since, she's the only one that doesn't piss him off on occasion—not because she's not still a bitch, either. He just doesn't get angry around her. So only they can work out so she can push him to do his best, because if we were around he'd try to smack us with a dumbbell."

Phil snorts. "Bruce? Anger management? I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years."

"I know, right? He's just a cute little ball of fluff. That's why I call him Brucey-kins."

"And why I'm Hobbes?"

"Would you rather I call you Philly-kins? Because I really don't think it suits you."

Phil grimaces, finishing his own food. "You're right, it doesn't."

"Hobbes is cute anyway. You're cute."

"And Calvin is annoying and delusional. We're perfect."

Tony rolls his eyes. "That's the last time _you_ wake up to a blowjob."

Phil leans over and kisses his forehead. "Want to know what one of the teacher rules for the party were?"

Tony grins, taking Phil's hand as he finishes off his orange juice as well. "What?"

"No dancing with the students unless it's the pour unfortunate soul standing in the corner."

He laughs. "Hill _would_ word it like that."

Phil nods. "You seem to know her better than I do."

Tony grins. "Let me tell you something about Vice Principle Maria Hill, Phil ole boy." He takes his hand and pulls him back to the living room, where the TV is off. They finished the movie after they "finished" with each other. "What time is it?"

"Eleven-something."

"Good. Plenty of time until a five o'clocl party." He pushes Phil onto the couch before seating himself in the corner to flop his legs over Phil's lap. "Once upon a time…" he begins, not jumping when Jim leaps onto his lap. He just smiles and scratches her between the ears. "This time being when I was a fourteen year old freshman, our SHIELD High School got a new vice principle. Twenty-two year old Maria Hill was—and still is—dead attractive. Yes, I know her age, which also means that I know _you_ shacked up with a chick two years and one grade older than you. Very nice. Anyway, it was the beginning of my freshman year and I still knew that Fury was a hard ass, so none of us knew why he hired her until she was introduced in the auditorium and we found out that she's got the same emotionless and hard ass outlook.

"Anyway, fast-forward to the summer before this senior year and my being seventeen, as I am now. Everyone figured out that Hill's actually really cool thanks to her parties and sarcasm, and she is even though she's totally still a hard ass and doesn't take shit. Now, the thing about Hill and I… We know each other rather well, and not because we ever had a relationship like the one you and I have now, except…" He laughs. "So, back to the summer before this year. I know a lot of guys, so I can get into bars and clubs with the bat of an eyelash, right? Well, one time I was at a club in town and was all over the floor. I don't even know who I was dancing with most of the time. Towards the end of the night, though, I ended up with some chick who was definitely too tall for me. So she turned around, right?—and boom, it's Hill."

Phil's jaw drops. "Hill goes to _clubs_?"

"Oh, Hill does _way_ more than that. She is a goddess on the pole. Did you know she used to be a pole dancing?"

Phil smirks. "Yeah, Fury told me."

"Right, so she's a goddess on the pole, not to mention any other dancing. We've actually danced multiple times since then. I still went to clubs and stuff after I ran into her, and every once in a while we'd run into each other. She'd laugh, grab my hand, and I'd be dancing with my teacher again."

Phil gives an incredulous breath of laughter. "Okay, rewind back to the _first_ time you ran into her. What happened? She just smiled and kept dancing?"

Tony snorts. "Not even. She grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the bar and hissed right up in my face, '_What are you doing here?_' Of course, I'm a total asshole, so I told her that I was dancing. Anyway, long story short, she applauded my ability to get into a club at seventeen, ruffled my hair, and sauntered off. Have you _seen_ her thighs? Shit."

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "I had sex with her."

"Okay, well, that was a few years ago; she could have put on weight."

"She hasn't. She's looked like that since her junior year."

Tony laughs. "Wow. You lost your virginity to the same woman that I've danced with, and now _we're_ fucking." He picks up Jim and cradles her to his chest before swinging his legs off the couch and shifting so that he's sitting beside Phil, leaning against his side and resting his head on his shoulder. "I like you better."

Phil smiles, putting an arm around his shoulder. "I like you better, too."

Phil doesn't know how long they sit there without saying anything, but they've eventually moved to lying down, Tony curled up on top and Phil's arms wrapped around him.

"You're warm," Tony says absentmindedly.

"Hopefully. I _am_ warm-blooded, after all," Phil says, reaching up to play with the strands of his hair.

"Hey, Phil?" he asks quietly.

Phil knows that tone. He really hates this tone. But he'll answer it, because he knows it needs to be answered. It needs to be…figured out.

"Yeah?" he answers, just as quiet.

"Now what?"

"I have no idea, Tony."

"I'm not going to be eighteen until March."

"And you're still going to be my high school student until June."

"I—I don't know if… Could we even make it that long? I mean, let's say we do just stay together. Can we keep it a secret for that long?"

Phil sighs, continuing to play with his hair. Jim is nowhere that he can see. "I honestly don't know, Tony. If previous relationships like this are anything to go by…no, we definitely can't."

"Maybe I can blackmail Loki into helping us through it. I could…I mean, I know it sounds bad, but if just tell all of my immediate friends then they could help us keep it secret _easy_. Bruce, Natasha, and Clint can't go public with their three-way, so maybe she can pose as my fake girlfriend or something stupid. Bruce and Clint can just be gay; Clint's already so far out of the bisexual closet that he's making pink, blue, and purple waffles in the kitchen, and Bruce is one of those shy types that wears sweater vests."

Phil muses over the idea, terrified of saying yes, but sure as hell not wanting to give this up _or_ be found out… "Do you really think that would work?"

"Loki already knows, Pepper probably knows, Bruce suspects it, Natasha and Clint will find out by getting evidence, and Steve and Thor are oblivious. Honestly, we might as well. At least we don't have any of _your_ friends to tell."

He breathes a laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. The perks of being boring."

Tony looks up at him with a grin. "You are pretty boring. You should go roller skating or something. Go out and see a movie. Get another cat—a male cat, named Jill."

Phil smiles. "Should we tell them now or after the party?"

"To be honest…now, and that way we don't have to stay on opposite sides of the house or yard during the party."

Phil nods. "How should we tell them?"

He hisses in a breath. "Actually, it would probably be better if I told them on my own…"

Phil nods, still pushing his fingers through his hair. "That would probably be better for my nerves, too. Should you go now?"

"What time is it?"

Phil looks up at the clock on the wall. "Fifteen to one."

"Yeah, I should go now. It will give me time to shower and the like, too."

"You won't come back here tonight, then?"

He grins and kisses the tip of his nose. "Maybe _afterwards_."

Phil smiles and pulls him down for a kiss on the mouth.

"Agh, no," Tony says, rolling off to flop onto the floor. "If you do that we'll end up having sex and then I won't have enough time!"

Phil grins down at him. "You have over four hours, Tony, and you don't even have to be on time. We have time."

Tony is back on top of him in under a second.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
Saturday…_

Tony texted his seven friends to meet him at his place before getting all of his things together. When he shows up, everyone is already here in the living room. There's club music blaring, Pepper is doing her homework on the floor, Steve is standing in and facing a corner, Loki and Thor are whispering angrily to each other, Natasha and Clint are grinding to the music, and Bruce is watching from the couch with so much lust in his eyes that Tony is almost turned on as well.

"Uh…hi?" he says.

Everyone looks up at him, and Natasha turns the music off.

"Took you long enough," Clint says, spinning over to sit on Bruce's lap. "Though I'm certainly not complaining."

Before anyone can say anything else, Loki stands up on the couch and talks faster than Tony has ever heard him talk: "ThorandIarefucking."

Everyone turns to stare at him but Pepper, who goes back to her homework. "I knew that."

"I think we all did," Bruce says quietly.

"Fine," Loki mutters, sitting back down by Thor—who's sitting silent and wide-eyed. Is that what they were whispering about? About whether or not they should tell the other six about their relationship? It looks like Thor lost. "Now I can tell all of you that—"

Tony beats him to it: "I'm fucking Mr. Coulson."

The room falls silent.

"What?" Steve asks, no longer in his corner.

"That I did _not_ know," Pepper says, pencil fallen out of her grasp.

Natasha smirks at Clint. "I _told_ you it was his car."

Bruce purses his lips. "You're having sex with our chemistry teacher?"

Tony nods.

"I don't believe you," Steve says.

"You should," Loki says, sitting darkly by Thor. He's probably annoyed that he didn't get to tell everyone himself. "I heard them, saw them, and Tony even said I'm better looking."

Tony smirks, crossing his arms. "No proof."

Pepper throws her pencil at his stomach. "Why didn't you tell us before, asshole?!"

"Because he could lose his job!"

"Oh, like _we'd_ tell anybody."

"I would," Loki says with a nonchalant shrug.

Thor glares down at him. "Be quiet, Loki. Tony is our friend. Just as I make him get along with you, I will make you get along with him."

Tony chuckles. "Thank you, Thor."

The blonde turns his glare to him. "Do not push it."

Tony cowers a little. "Sorry."

"Aaanyway!" Clint says as Natasha is bent over the back of the couch and kissing Bruce's neck. "So you're having sex as an underage with our teacher. Now what?"

"Uh…" Tony scratches the back of his head. "Okay, so I'm not going to be eighteen until March, and I'll still be his student until June. I… We need your help in keeping it secret, okay? We, uh…something about a fake girlfriend to throw off the scent. It doesn't have to be any of you! Just…someone who won't care." Please take the bait please take the bait…

Natasha pulls away from Bruce. "No, it _should_ be one of us. It should be me."

Tony smiles a little. "I _did_ think you'd like the idea."

She grins back. "It's the logical choice, isn't it? We can't all three come out, so just two of us will."

Clint smiles. "That's true. Everyone knows I'm gay enough to have played **Michael** in Party Monster."

Loki grimaces. "I didn't like that movie."

"I thought it was enlightening," Thor says.

"Wait," Steve says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Tony and Natasha are going to pretend to date so nobody is suspicious about Tony and Mr. Coulson?"

"Yup," Pepper says, back to her homework with a different pencil.

Bruce pouts out his bottom lip, reaching up to take Natasha's hand. "But no kissing?"

Natasha snorts. "As if. Tony may be hot, but he ain't one of my boys."

He and Clint smile up at her. "Good," they say together.

She smiles before glaring. "That doesn't mean _you two_ get to make out in front of me all the time, either. I'll get jealous and blow the whole thing."

They just look at each other, Bruce nodding and Clint grinning.

"Okay, but…" Tony says slowly. "If we're not even going to kiss at all, nobody is going to believe that we're dating since it's _me_ we're talking about. You're going to have to be really fucking close to me, like, all the time if we're not going to make out at school."

She hisses out a breath. "Yeah, you're right. We'll kiss everywhere _but_ the lips. Make it really cute, like we're actually in love with each other and something happened outside of school for us to figure it out."

Tony grins. "A wonderful idea."

"Okay, enough," Loki mutters. "Should Pepper and Steve pretend to date too, just for the sake of having all of us intertwined in some way?"

Steve and Pepper look over at each other, blink a few times, and then look away with grimaces. "No," they say in unison.

Tony chews on the inside of his cheek. "So…it's settled, then? I have a fake girlfriend?"

"And _I_ have a fake boyfriend," Natasha says with a nod.

"And Thor and I aren't actually brothers," Loki says with a nod.

Tony ignores him, addressing the fake parts: "And you're all okay with this? You're okay with helping it stay a secret?"

Loki is the only one who doesn't nod, but the look that Thor gives him makes him do it real fast.

Tony grins. "I fucking love you guys. Now get out of my house unless you're getting ready. I'm going to shower. Natasha, get whatever making out you can done so you're sated for the party. You're going to have to hold my hand during the whole thing."

She wrinkles her nose up. "Ugh, you're right. Boys, downstairs. We'll get ready there."

"I call the theater room!" Loki yells, trying to pull Thor but just getting yanked back when Thor doesn't move right away since the blonde is so much bigger.

"NOBODY GETS MY BED UNLESS YOU CHANGE THE SHEETS AND DO THE LAUNDRY!" Tony yells just in case the five of them get any ideas.

Pepper chuckles. "I'm already ready. I'll stay here."

"Me too," Steve says, dropping his backpack beside her. Who does homework on Saturday?"

"Hey, Steve-o?" Tony says.

"Yeah, what?" he asks.

"Why were you standing in the corner?"

He cringes. "Clint was trying to creep me out and it worked."

Tony chuckles, walking off to his room to get clothes in case someone _does_ end up in his room and he can't go get them after the shower. "Yeah, Clint's pretty good at that."

"Hey, Tony?" Pepper says.

He turns around to smile. "Yeah?"

"You're really fucking our chemistry teacher?"

"Well, actually, _he's_ fucking _me_, but…" He shrugs. "Same concept. I'll see you when I'm clean!"

**OoOoOoO**

_PHIL  
Saturday…_

Phil dressed himself in his most attractive jeans and a boring white t-shirt. He gets to the party exactly on time, parking in the grass beside the house. Hill's house is…big. It's very big, and very out in the middle of nowhere. A perfect place to have a party. It's like the party the kids threw in the Yours, Mine, and Ours remake except that the house is nicer and it's not part of a lighthouse.

Phil can't see Tony's car anywhere, and he knows that because there's hardly anybody here yet. He recognizes a few cars that teachers drive, but that's about it.

Phil sighs, sad that Tony is here yet. Dammit, why can't Phil get enough of him? He's a seventeen year old high school student for fucks sake! He's sarcastic, arrogant…really good looking, really damn smart, hilarious, has a place that's always to himself except for the occasional nosy friend…

Yeah, Phil is totally fucked.

He swings out of his car and goes to the front door (a huge set of double doors), wherein it's pulled open by Hill in…okay, Phil may be gay, but wow, she sure is pretty. It's still warm out at the beginning of the school year, so she's in white mini-shorts, sparkling gold flats, a shimmering gold tank top, and her hair is up in an elaborate braided ponytail to reveal white earrings. Very color coordinated.

Hill laughs. "I almost forgot that Nick"—(okay, if she can call Fury by his first name, Phil supposes he can call everybody else by theirs…he is a teacher, after all)—"is making you come. Come on in, you're one of the first. Some nerds and band kids are out in the back yard, and most of the other teachers are in the kitchen. They've been to tons of these before, unlike you."

Phil nods, following her inside.

Fury gives him a smug smile when he sees him. "Glad you could make it."

Phil shrugs. "It's not like I have anything better to do."

"Not even any_one_?" Doom asks.

James Howlett (who everyone just calls Logan is the art teacher who always seems to have something sharp with him; right now it's a chopping knife for the lettuce on the counter behind him) punches his shoulder with his free hand. "Grow up, Doomers."

Charles Xavier (the philosophy and American government professor—he doesn't like "Mister" either, and he's in a wheelchair; he seems far too old for a party like this) sighs. "Calm yourself, Logan."

Logan shrugs. "Not my fault he's a dick."

Ororo Munroe (the school nurse) rolls her eyes as well. "The maturity of our staff is astounding."

"It is not as bad as it could have been," Kurt Wagner (Phil's fellow science teacher; Phil's main class is chemistry and sophomore science, and his is physics and freshman) says quietly in his German accent.

The next half an hour is much like that. More teachers fill up the gigantic kitchen and help with food preparations, and most of the students go straight to the yard while handfuls of them start to fill up the stairs, living room, and other inside places.

Maria doesn't give Phil any food jobs since this is his first party, not to mention the fact that there are at least thirty teachers roaming around. Not all of them fit in the kitchen, so half of them have flitted off to wherever else. Phil didn't know teachers and students _could_ hang out like this and it seem normal. Obviously Maria has been doing these for years and everybody has heard about them so much that they're just normal now. Phil hasn't been teaching at SHIELD High School long enough to know what's normal and what isn't.

Phil ends up out in the back yard with a group of six others, these others being Remy LeBeau (the French teacher), the two choir teachers (Emma Frost and Venom Symbiote—Phil _never_ wants to meet his parents), Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Gwen from earlier, and Flash Thompson (who Phil honestly can't tell if Flash is dating only one of them, if the two girls are fighting over him, or if they're just his "bitches").

That's when the party (music already blaring) gets exponentially louder, and Phil and his group of six glance over to see that a huge group is pouring into the yard. Phil instantly has to hide his smile, because he recognizes almost all of them: Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Thor, Loki, Pepper, Steve are the usual that Phil hears about, but he also recognizes multiple others from some of his classes: Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Happy Hogan, James Rhodes, Justin Hammer, Ivan Vanko, and then even more that Phil honestly has no idea the last names to: Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral, Amora, Skurge, Sleipnir, Hela, Fenrir, and Jörmungandr. That adds an entire twenty to the list—and exactly half of them are of Norse decent, while Phil knows Natasha is of Russian and the rest are American. Wow.

"Finally," Emma says before downing his glass of punch. There's no alcohol here, even for the teachers, for obvious reasons that the entire SHIELD High School could be shut down if every last one of the teachers are found letting underage students drink with them.

"Finally?" Phil asks.

Remy grins. "You've never been to one of these before. These are the twenty-four that have crashed the party for the last two years."

"Good thing, too," Symbiote says in the dark, hissy voice he's got. "These parties wouldn't be near as fun without them."

Phil can't help but grin, and he grins even wider when he catches eyes with Tony. The kid nods to him and holds up Natasha's hand to show off that he's holding it, and Phil smiles even _bigger_, glad that Tony's friends know and are helping them out.

"You've probably taught at least ten of them," LeBeau says.

Phil chuckles. "I've taught all of them. They're not all seniors though, are they?"

"Fenrir, Sleipnir, and Lorelei are juniors," Gwen says.

She, Mary Jane, and Flash flit off to them, as do much of the other students and some teachers. Phil realizes a second later that he's standing alone, but he stays where he is to keep watching Tony and his crowd—and it's definitely _his_ crowd.

The next thing, Tony is lifted up on Thor's shoulders, a cordless microphone in his hands. "Heeyyy!" he says, his voice carrying through the yard from the multiple speakers placed around. There's already a stage set up a ways over, but obviously being on shoulders is cooler. "Who's ready for a party?!"

The yard practically explodes with voices.

"Then give it up for"—he throws his head back—"MARIAAA!"

As he swings off of Thor's shoulders, Maria swings up with the mike—not sitting, but standing, with Thor holding onto her ankles.

"Alright, assholes," she says with a smirk. "Most of you haven't been to one of my parties before—twenty-four of you have. Set activities are for pussies, so it's a good thing I've got one."

Phil snorts.

"There's not exactly a set order, but mostly there is, yeah. These activities are the barbeque dinner, dancing, and Loki's favorite"—(Phil can hear Loki snort from here)—"the contests! You all only get one hot dog or burger until we're sure that everybody has had one, and I don't give a _damn_ what song you sing. If you brought alcohol or drugs I'll call the police on you so it doesn't get out and I get fired instead, and if you break anything I'll make sure you don't graduate until you pay for it.

"The contests will be throughout the night; three of them, to represent the three parties. Yes, one is singing; it's like our own little SHIELD Idol. The second is the hot dog eating contents between three of you—no teachers, but one of those three has to be a girl. The third, though, involves _only_ teachers—this being two of them, and I don't care what the sexes are. This one is kind of like Jeopardy, and I'll explain the details for it when it comes. And! If you participate in one of these contests at _this_ party, you don't get to be in one of the next ones, so choose wisely."

She grins, putting her hands on her hips. "Alright, I suppose that's that. Where's Clint?"

Clint swings up on Flash's shoulders, standing up beside her. "Yes, your majesty?"

She pushes at his shoulder, almost knocking him over. "You know what I want."

He chuckles, saying something down to Flash. The big guy nods and walks him over to the stage, where Clint jumps down to it and spins around the table set up on it to work with the music that was earlier paused when Tony began to talk. Now the music blares back up, and Phil instantly recognizes the song as one he used to dance to at his own high school parties.

Somebody bumps up against him, and Phil looks to see that it's Tony.

"I really don't like people," he says with a sigh.

Phil frowns. "Really? But you're so good with them?"

"I'm the Stark Industries son. I _have_ to be good with them."

"You seemed to enjoy it up there."

He shrugs, handing Phil the extra glass of punch he has. "I'd rather be in my kitchen. Anyway!" He smiles up at him. "The cool part about me being me and you being new is that I can hang out with you for most of the night and it won't look suspicious, since everyone will just think I'm teaching you the ropes of the place."

Natasha suddenly flits over, taking his and Tony's hands. "Come on, party poopers," she says. "Dance with me!"

Phil frowns. "The teacher email said that teachers aren't allowed to dance with students, though."

"So did the student one," she says, pulling them right into the middle, "but you don't see that stopping anyone, does it?"

Phil looks around as she and Tony just start dancing, realizing that she's right. He's not sure all of those that are married, dating, single, or otherwise, but there are multiple teachers dancing with either other teachers, students, or both—even some of the women with other women and men with men. So Phil shrugs and stands behind Tony, glad that he's in high top Converse instead of his dress shoes.

By the time that the music stops so everyone can get food, Phil and Tony have ended up on opposite sides of the dance "floor", Phil last with Maria herself. They were laughing most of the time, falling into each other and making fun of how little the other has changed since they were together.

There aren't really any tables to sit at, so Phil just plops down in the spot on the grass like everybody else is doing. By the time that everyone is sitting down with their first burger (there are at _least_ three hundred people here…Phil knows that he saw a bunch of other teachers making food, but they _must_ have ordered most of it) Phil is surrounded by people he knows and also those he's never seen. Those he knows are Tony, Natasha, Bruce, and Clint. he has no idea where the other usual four are, and literally everyone else right around him he doesn't recognize enough to name.

Natasha is sitting with Tony leaning against her side with his back to face Phil,

"Having a good time?" Tony asks.

"Don't answer that," Natasha says to Phil, flicking Tony's nose. "He's going to ruin your life later to get you nominated for the teacher Jeopardy."

Tony pouts out his bottom lip. "You're the worst girlfriend ever."

Phil is about to thank her, but a girl pipes up first: "You two are dating?"

Tony grins. "Sorry, Vali."

She rolls her eyes. "I have a boyfriend of my own, thanks."

"Doesn't mean you don't want me."

She smirks. "Maybe a little."

"This dick is _mine_," Natasha says, kissing Tony's cheek.

Tony gives her a look that, if Phil didn't know any better, would make him think that they were in love. But then Tony throws him an almost unnoticeable wink, and he just smiles and looks down at his food.

He gets a text from "Calvin" a few seconds later: **Ure adorable when ure jealous.**

Phil snorts and answers: **You are SO staying over tonight.**

**I was hoping u'd say that**

As everyone is finishing up their food (which is not in a short time span whatsoever), Maria gets up on stage. It's still pretty light out, but some of the students are staring ti put up torches to be lit for later. Maria announces that it's time for the first contest, being the karaoke. Everyone instantly starts spewing out names, but Maria raises her hand to silence them. "Tony always sings _last_, so stop yelling his name."

There are fifteen people allowed in this contest, Tony being the lat, and some of his friends being the others: Clint, Natasha, Loki, Fandral, and Hela. Phil also recognizes that the Vali girl that asked Tony about him and Natasha earlier, plus three teachers: Jean Gray (who is one of four counselors) Victoria Hand (who teaches all of the freshman English classes, and Phil is pretty sure she's actually married to a woman) and _Fury_. Five judges are sat down on the grass in front of the stage, all of them being people that Phil knows: Maria, Peter Parker (who's one of the gym teachers, but specifically gymnastics; he's also one of the cross country and track/field coaches), Pepper, Steve, and Jane.

Phil does not at all pay enough attention as he should, going into the house to use the bathroom as soon as the first two girls have finished. Fury and the six that came in the group of twenty-four are going last in the order of Fury, Fandral, Hela, Clint, Natasha, Loki, and Tony last. Remy really meant it when he said that the real fun showed up. The entire crowd of twenty-four is loved by everyone. Even Pepper, Happy, and Jane, though? They're just so quiet. Maybe they're really funny when they're drunk or they're just cool by default since they hang out with Tony and the other loud ones—or _maybe_ those three run a drug ring, or at the very least they write essays at low prices.

Phil almost screams when he opens the bathroom door after finished.

Tony grins. "So are you having a good time or not?"

Phil instantly has to fight a hard on. Why does he want him so bad? They only just had sex _again_ before Tony left… "Yeah," he says, mouth dry.

Tony giggles. "If we were anywhere else," he says so quietly that he might as well be mouthing it, "I would blow you against the inside of this door until you saw stars." Then, louder: "Now move, I gotta pee."

Phil nods and goes back outside, seeing that they've lit the torches now. When Fury finally goes up, everyone falls dead silent at the glare that he's giving them.

"Why is it that, every single one of these damn parties, I find myself up on this stage?"

"Because we love you!" someone very daring yells.

He gives a firm sigh. "Motherfuckers," he mutters. "Turn on my song, Barton."

Clint, still the DJ, grins, and Phil is not the only one that starts to laugh when Mambo No. 5 comes on. As tough as Fury is and just was, he sings the song so perfectly that Phil is pretty sure he'll be rooting the judges to vote for him.

When its Clint's turn, someone else jumps up to work the buttons while he sings Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind", and then he's back at it when Natasha sings "Domino" by Jessie J. He and Loki stick their tongues out at each other when the tall but far too skinny kid sings Temposhark's "Don't Mess with Me", which is so perfectly his song that Phil doesn't even know what to say about it. Phil is very glad he's not a judge. He wouldn't be able to decide on a winner.

The level of noise that comes up when Tony hops on stage is joined by Phil, 'cause hey, why not?

"Alright, alright, calm your tits," Tony says, flitting his wrist at the gigantic crowd. Phil would guess about three-hundred and seven people. Not the entire senior grade came, and not every teacher is here either.

"I'll be singing a little love song from 2008 this first party of the year, being for a _very_ special someone."

Phil realizes that Tony is staring right at him, and after he throws him a wink he looks away. "It's been very recent, actually, that my Playboy tendencies have subsided. Just this afternoon, really. Anyone who doesn't know—that means you, Vali—want to try and guess."

Vali and a boy (that looks so much like her that they _must_ be girl/boy twins) laugh.

A lot of people actually guess Pepper, and the next majority even goes for Clint. That of course leads to the DJ pulling up Bruce, though, and Phil can only imagine the jealousy in Natasha as her boyfriend's get to kiss in front of everyone and she can't join them.

"Alright, alright," Tony says, prying them apart. He says something to them without his microphone, no doubt muttering to them for Natasha's sake. He turns back to the crowd once Bruce has hopped back down. "I can't believe none of you guessed Natasha!"

Natasha springs up with a flip and spins into his arms, both hands raised to flip everyone the bird.

Tony laughs, giving her that "in love" look again. "Obviously I ended up with the most flexible girl in school." He throws a wink out to Phil, but anyone else just thinks it's randomly thrown into the crowd.

It doesn't hit Phil until the first instruments of Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" (of course) start up that this song is actually for him. That's what the first wink was for. To let him know that _he's_ the special someone.

When Tony actually starts singing, Phil has to force himself not to let his jaw drop. He'd let it for Tony's benefit, but he's looking down at Natasha to play up their fake relationship.

Phil hasn't cried since he was nine years old. He was a tough kid, and he likes to think of himself as a tough man…but the fact that he has to grit his teeth and pinch the bridge of his nose is putting that tough guy to shame. Thankfully he's nearly in the back of the crowd. It's amazing how close together a crowd of over three-hundred can mash together to be as close to the stage as they can without tripping over the judges. Close enough that Phil _can_ see Tony's winks, and the way his eyes sparkle down at Natasha. those eyes are for Phil. They're all his.

Phil is a twenty-three year old science teacher with a cat and a nice car from his dead grandma that's having sex with a seventeen year old high school senior that has his own house because his dad doesn't like him and who's also set for life since he's going to inherit the family business. Phil wears one of thee suits to the job he only got because he knows the principle (and also because he's smart, yes), and his only reason for living as nice as he does is because of the death of his parents two years ago and he got all of their stuff since he's an only child. Both of his parents were very successful and paid off everything that they owned, so it was easy to get all of their affairs in order. Phil sold their house and, cars, sailboat, and everything else that was worth selling, and then he had a garage sale for the worthless stuff. Fury was actually there for that one…both he and his little sister, Alisa (her last name is Tager now—though her and her husband have been going through a divorce and she'll probably change it back to Fury—but everyone still calls her by her middle school nickname: Cipher; she's actually the school computer engineering and computer applications teacher, and no, Fury did not give her a job as well…she was hired before he was).

Phil has no idea where he's going to go with this. There's no way that he and Tony are going to make it through the entire school year—even _with_ the help of his friends. There's just…they can't do it. But Phil can't just leave him! He won't. He's…not in love, no. but he could be—and he will if this all keeps up. If Tony sings songs for him and giggles and has a great movie taste and plays with Jim and winks at him and makes jokes and gives sarcastic remarks and aces his class and…and all of that, and maybe even a little bit less, Phil is going to fall in love with him.

And then where will they be? They've still go the entire school year. The next party is going to be at the end of the first semester, and the second is a graduation one. They can't make it that long. There's no way. Should Phil…go out and look for another job? He barely got this one! Maybe he could try and finished college, and then—no, no, Tony will be out of high school by then, so there's no point.

Then again, going back would be a good idea… Tony is going to be one of the richest men in the country pretty soon, and what will Phil be? If they stay together he'll just be the guy that doesn't pay any of the rent. And he will stay with him… He's not just going to leave unless he's got a good reason, and he's pretty sure Tony would only kick him out for any other good reason. Hopefully they never find any good reasons, of course, but… They might not have to. The school might find it for them, and then…well, Phil won't be in jail, but he certainly won't have his job anymore, and it's going to be even more difficult to get one elsewhere.

Shit.

Phil doesn't have any good ideas. He'll talk to Tony tonight. Well, no, it's just about eight o'clock now. They'll probably just have sex and then go to sleep, so he'll talk to him about it in the morning. He sighs, glad that he's good at multitasking. He was able to have a minor nervous breakdown inside of his head and listen to Tony at the same time. Has he ever heard something so wonderful? He's not sure. If someone had told him that Tony's voice is as beautiful as he is, Phil probably wouldn't have believed them.

When Tony's song ends, the crowd erupts (as they usually do after a song, but this is the loudest that Phil has heard yet), and Tony looks out through the crowd to where Phil is. He's not gritting his teeth or pinching his nose anymore, but he's sure as hell got a blush on his face.

Maria announces the five judges top five to the crowd so that they'll come up to the stage. These five are Tony, Fury, Vali (she sounded like an angel—literally), a large kid named Thanos (another Norse descendant without a last name), and a girl named Karima Shapandar. Clint then starts a drum roll, and Maria announces the winner of the five: Vali. Everyone cheers some more, and Tony throws his arms around her neck and gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Phil just laughs at that. He's so cute.

Vali is apparently very sarcastic, if her "acceptance speech" has anything to say for the way she's waving and thanking her parents and kissing Tony's cheek back and the best part is when she kisses Maria smack on the mouth, because the look on everybody's face (especially Maria's) is absolutely priceless. Didn't Vali say she was taken earlier? Oh well, it was obviously a joke. Phil suddenly wonders if there are people here taking pictures for the yearbook… He hasn't seen any yet. They must be very good at their jobs.

Tony is suddenly at Phil's side again, handing him another glass of punch. He doesn't even know where his last glass went.

"How bad was I?" he asks quietly, looking down at his glass as he swirls the contents.

Phil frowns down at his own glass and answers just as quiet: "Why would you think I thought you were bad?"

"Because I glanced up to see you pinching your nose."

Phil smiles. "I was trying not to cry."

Tony looks up at him with a wrinkled nose. "What?"

Phil glances over at him. "You heard me, Stark."

Tony smiles back before both of them look away at the same time. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Do you really need to ask why?"

"I want to hear you say it."

Phil smirks, downing some of his punch. "I'll tell you tonight."

"Will you whisper it?"

"Definitely."

Tony laughs and elbows him as a few people run by before clinking their cups together. "I'll hold you to that."

Phil chuckles, flicking Tony's cup so that it spills over his fingers a little. "I look forward to it."

Phil doesn't know how long later, but the three who end up in the hot dog eating contest are Thor, Thanos, and a girl named Glut. Phil almost pukes when he's watching them, and almost even more so when it's Glut who wins.

There's more dancing eventually, and then…well, then he finds himself up on the stage with none other than Fury's little sister (who teacher computer engineering and applications), because they've been nominated for the teacher Jeopardy—just like Natasha said he'd be.

"Alright!" Maria says as a student Phil doesn't know hands he and Alisa a pair of headset microphones. "You raise your hand when you have the answer, and _I_ will be the judge of who got their hand up first. If I can't decide I'll ask the crowd, but don't count on it. If you're the one that doesn't get his hand up and the one who did has the correct answer, then you have to tell a joke. There are ten questions from four categories: art and literature, geography, entertainment, history, and miscellaneous. Your first question is an easier one, from the geography category: what is the only US state with a single syllable name?"

Phil snaps his hand up, but Maria chooses Alisa: "Maine."

Maria smirks and looks over at Tony, who's sitting on the stage with his legs dangling off and keeping score.

Phil sighs, racking his brain for a joke: "Uh…" He looks over at Maria. "Are there any _rules_ to what the jokes _can't_ be?"

She snorts. "We're a school with a principle that calls everybody 'motherfuckers' and teachers under him that dance with students and you think we care if you tell a dirty joke?"

He shrugs. "Just making sure." He licks his lips. "Okay, so a man and a woman meet in an elevator. 'Where are you heading today?' the man asks. 'I'm going down to give blood,' she answers. 'How much do you get for giving blood?' 'About twenty dollars.' 'Wow,' says the man. 'I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays one-hundred.' The woman angrily exits the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. 'Fancy meeting you again,' the man says. 'Where are you off to today?' 'Sperm bank,' she says with her mouth full."

Phil is happy to get a laugh out of that, but he really hopes he doesn't have to tell another one. That was the only one he could get himself to think of.

"Very nice, Mr. Coulson," Clint says from where he's making sure the music isn't too loud so it drowns them out, giving him two thumbs up.

"Alright," Maria says, holding up her cards. "The next category is miscellaneous: what is Whiskey distilled from?"

Phil knows for a fact that Alisa doesn't drink hard liquor, so he's thrilled when he gets to raise his hand first. "Fermented grain mash."

Alisa grins. "Here are eight things you should never say to a cop after he's pulled you over!" she says brightly. "Number one, 'Hey, can you hold my beer while I pull out my insurance?' Two, 'Sorry, officer, I didn't realize I was driving!' Three, 'Oh, wow, you must have been doing at _least_ a hundred miles an hour to keep up with me!' Four, 'I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.' Five, 'You're not going to check the trunk, are you?' Six, 'I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's _miles_ ahead of me.' Seven, 'If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.' And eight, 'It wasn't my fault!—when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged under the break pedal!'"

She gets laughs between each one of them, and Phil throws his arms up in a shrug. "Sorry I'm not as funny," he mutters.

Tony looks back at him with a smile. "I think you're hilarious."

"The next question is from the art and literature category," Maria says. "What is the better-known name of crime fiction writer Lady Mallowan Doom. Bruce. E.?"

Phil snaps his hand up _long_ before Alisa again. She read Nancy Drew and the Boxcar Children mysteries, not that stuff. "Agatha Christie."

Tony grins back again, putting another point by his name.

Alisa buzzes her lips. "Uh, how many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A scattered group that's no doubt in one of her computer classes yells back answers.

"Correct!" she says. "It takes none, because that's the facilities problem."

The next question is in history: "What addiction-inducing crop did Christopher Columbus discover in Cuba in 1492?"

Phil snaps his hand up. He's done tests on this answer a million times. "Tobacco!"

Alisa groans at him. "Quit knowing everything, dickwad!"

Phil grins at her. She and Fury always were the cussing type.

"Okay, uh, shit… Okay I got one! What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?"

Another scattered group (probably the math nerds) replies back.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, know all of my jokes. Yes, he was looking for a tangent. Next question, 'Ria."

She grins. "This is from geography again: what color is the cross on the Swedish flag?"

Alisa gets this one: "Yellow! Fuck yeah!"

Phil sighs. "Okay, what did one DNA strand say to the other?"

More scattered answers. What a smart group of party goers.

"Right!" he says with a smile. Then, in his best gay voice (which is not hard to imitate for obvious reasons), "Do these genes make my butt look fat?"

"Alright, we're halfway through!" Maria says happily. "The next question is of history: which Indian prime minister was awarded the 1983 to 1984 Lenin Peace Prize?"

Phil snorts, hand already raised: "Indira Gandhi, duh."

"I knew that one, asshole!" Alisa yells. She rubs her temples, muttering through her brain for another joke: "Okay, okay, a sexist joke, awesome. Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?"

Phil actually doesn't hear any answers, so they're either too quiet or nobody knows.

"Finally!" she says with a fist pump. "He didn't need them any longer because his damn wife knows everything!"

Phil is sure there are multiple feminists in the crowd, but they all laugh anyway, because sexist jokes "are funny when they're coming from women". It's technically true, though. When men say them they get hit or scoffed at.

"Alright, alright, this is from miscellaneous: what is the most expensive spice in the world?"

Phil has done multiple experiments on this one as well, but Alisa gets her hand up anyway: "Saffron! Suck it, bitch."

Phil sighs. "Okay, um… A man walks into a bar, and he says, 'Ow.'"

The crowd is literally dead silent for at least three seconds before anybody starts laughing, and Maria punches him lightly in the shoulder. "I've never heard that one!"

Phil laughs too, pushing her away from him. "Feel free to steal it."

"Awesome. Okay, the next question is from arts and literature again. It and history has the most questions. What writer and war hero Tony. E. Lawrence popularly known as?"

Phil snaps his hand up, but Alisa beats him. "Lawrence of Arabia."

This time Phil cusses at her. "Okay, so a nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbit, _and_ a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, 'Is this some kind of joke?'"

"Ooh, a tie!" Tony says, grinning up at Phil and Alisa. "Either one of you has to get the last two questions or Maria's going to have to break out the tie-breaker question."

"Ninth question!" she says, holding up her cards. "From this history category, making up four of the ten questions: what name was Haitian dictator Francois Duvalier better known by?"

Phil and Alisa stare at each other for about three seconds before Phil shoots his hand up with a grin: "Papa Doc!"

Alisa gapes at him. "How did you _know_ that, you _fucker_!"

He smirks, tapping his temple. "Tell us another joke, darling."

She rolls her eyes. "I have bar jokes too. A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, 'Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face!'"

Phil chuckles along with everyone else, and then Maria is holding up her cards for the last question. He and Alisa are tense—very tense. Phil is glad that they chose another teacher that he knows personally. This would be a lot less fun if he was getting cussed at by someone he only knew the name to.

Maria grins. "The last category is art and literature: what Harry Potter character has the Patronus of a hare?"

Phil and Alisa both stare over at each other. Phil has never been into Harry Potter. He was more of the "War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy" kind of a kid. How Alisa doesn't know, though, is beyond him.

"I don't know that one," he says with a shrug. It's not the worst. He's already one point up, so they're just going to have another question to answer."

Alisa chews on the inside of her cheek and rubs her temples for what seems like an eternity before sighing. "I can't remember."

Maria chuckles. "It was Luna Lovegood."

Phil nods like he knows who that is, but Alisa releases a string of curse words to rival Fury at "why couldn't she remember that".

"Do you just ask the next question?" Phil asks.

Maria shakes her head. "Now you _both_ have to tell a joke."

"Ooh, me first!" Alisa says, throwing her arms up. "I have a male sexist joke!"

The crowd cheers, including Phil. Those ones are always funny.

"Alright, here are five reasons why computers are males and not females. One, they have a lot of data but are still clueless. Two, they're supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they _are_ the problem. Three, as soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had just waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model." (That one is funniest to Phil so far because he knows that she happens to be married to a non-SHIELD High School employee.) "Four, in order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. And five, big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night!"

The crowd "ooh's", dissing on all the males.

Phil smirks. "Hey now, _I_ have five reasons why computers are actually _females_! First, no one but the Creator understands their internal logic! Second, the native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. Third, the message 'bad command or file name' is about as informative as, 'If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you.'" (That one gets the most "ooh's", probably.) "Fourth, even the smallest mistake is stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. And fifth, as soon as someone makes a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories! Take that, bitch."

If the look on Maria's face and the dropped jaw on Alisa's has anything to say, Phil has just gotten himself into a whole new contest—of insults.

"Oh, you wanna start this?" she asks, giving her Black woman _oh no you di-n't_ wag of a finger. "You want to start a contest of insults? I will blow your white motherfucking ass off the stage!"

Phil smirks. "What, you're going to break out the Yo' Mama jokes on me?"

She grins. "You wanna hear those? Because I got some, bitch. Yo' mama is _so_ stupid, she thinks a quarterback is refund!"

Phil laughs, dropping a hand to his hip. "Yo' mama is so technologically _un_savvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!"

Alisa's jaw drops again. Phil knows very well that she learned most of her computer stuff from her mom, while her dad hung out with Fury most of the time. "I don't _think_ so. Yo' mama is so fat, 401K is her _bra size_."

Yeah, that one gets a good crowd reaction. Phil feels like a teenage girl. This is great!

"I don't have anymore mama jokes, but babe, words can't even describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!"

"_Oh_, we're breaking out _those_ ones, are we? Sorry they can't measure your intelligence, Coulson—the scale won't go that low!"

"Appearances can be deceiving… Or in your case, disgusting!"

Alisa smirks, stepping right up in front of Phil to show off her six foot to his five-nine. "I promise not to make fun of your height. I would never stoop that low."

"I'm glad you're tall! It gives me more of you to dislike."

"Your mouth is the perfect size—for your _foot_."

"Sweetheart, I've seen _tables_ with nicer looking legs than yours."

"Well I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon!"

"Know what I like about your face? Yeah, me neither."

"Know what goes best with a face like _yours_? A paper bag."

Phil smirks, reaching up to finger her dreadlocks. "Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it."

She puffs her chest out, knocking him back slightly. "You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any!"

"You'll never lose your mind, because you can't lose what you never had!"

"You'd make our date one I'd never forget—no matter how hard I'd try."

"You're like disposable diapers anyway: always getting _dumped_."

Phil instantly realizes what he's done, remembering about the divorce that she's still going through, and he yanks off his headset. "Alisa, oh my God, I am so sorry, that is not at all what I meant. I'll do anything to make that up to you. I didn't mean to, I swear. My tongue ran in front of my brain and crossed the finish line before I could stop it."

She pulls hers off as well and gives him a thin smile. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean too. We were both trying to catch our tongues and you tripped mine on the way."

Phil snorts a little. "Sorry, that's just… That was funny."

She smiles, punching his shoulder. "We're cool."

They put their headsets back on and Alisa throws her arm around his shoulders. "Okay, we're done. Who won?"

"I think Phil did, mean as it ended up being," Tony says, looking back at them.

She chuckles. "Alright, alright, we still have one more question since none of us got that last one, right?"

Maria nods. "In the miscellaneous category: how many squares are there on a Snakes and Ladders board?"

Phil throws his hand up and yells, "ONE-HUNDRED!" before dives down to the ground so he doesn't get punched in the face by Alisa, rolling away so he also doesn't get kicked.

She's cussing at him again, all hatred of the accidental divorce jab gone and now replaced with losing the Teacher Jeopardy.

Tony whoops and jumps up, crawling up to stand on Thor's shoulders the moment that the big blonde is standing down on the grass. "Winner status for Coulson!" he hollers.

Phil dodges Alisa's headset by jumping off the stage, still laughing, and gets pulled right into the crowd. The next thing he knows is that he's lifted up, and after being carried across who knows how many people he finds that he's being carried right by Tony, who's no longer on Thor's shoulders but down on his side and grinning widely.

"I'll help you check your room everyday for any booby traps she sets," he says.

Phil laughs. "Yeah, okay, thanks."

They're set down eventually, in the back of the throng, and they both sit down on the grass as Clint turns the music up louder and everyone starts dancing again.

"You were totally the shit up there, man," Tony says, poking his stomach. "You are having fun, right?"

Phil grins. "More than I've had in _ages_, give or take. I'm having a good time. I'm having a _damn_ good time. I never realized how boring it is at home with only my cat." He would have said her name, but he didn't want it to be odd that Tony knows her name if they're just supposed to be friends for the night.

"I would have taken you as more of a dog person," he says with a laugh.

Phil shrugs. "I probably am, but that means taking caring of something that can't take care of itself, and I've never been very good at that."

Tony nods. "That's why I brought the fake plants in." Then lower, "I've _seen_ the dead plants around _your_ house."

Phil gives a good natured eye roll. "Hey, do you know if Flash Thompson is dating either of Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane Watson?"

Tony snorts. "No, but it's sort of complicated. They're best friends, but he refuses to choose between them so he doesn't make a mess of the friendship, so he just makes out with both of them whenever the other isn't around."

Phil laughs, wishing Tony had brought more punch. He lost track of his again. "Do you know about the other relationships?"

He buzzes his lips. "Shit, there are a lot—of the teachers _and_ students. Are you…I mean, do you really want to know?"

"Just tell me the people that I know."

"I'm not sure if you just know teachers or not."

"Um…teachers, those involved in your group of twenty-four, and that Vali girl and her brother. That's all I know besides Flash, Gwen, and Mary Jane."

Tony nods and spouts off more relationships than healthy. Of the dating students there's, Fandral and Darcy, Skurge and Amora, Justin Hammer and Lorelei (Amora's little sister), Happy (who's real name is Harold) Hogan is planning on asking Pepper (who's real name is Virginia; what a pairing) after the party, Hogun and Sif, and those that are dating people not at the party are Jörmungandr, Vali, and Narvi (Vali's twin brother). Any other students in Phil's singled down group are single, except Hela is apparently a lesbian and has a huge crush on Darcy, so she has a rather large dislike for Fandral.

The teachers that are dating other teachers are Jonathan Storm (running fitness) and Laura Kinney (literature through film, history through film, and an elective involving film; Phil would probably get along with her rather well), and Venom Symbiote is with Raven Darkholme (who's one of those that runs the front desk), and those dating people outside of school are Peter Parker and Wade Wilson (the crazy geometry teacher that actually makes math cool and has a thing for wearing ski masks around the grounds), though Tony has an inkling that they're just dating each other and not telling anybody). The teachers married to other teachers are Erik (with Raven at the front desk) and Charles Lehnsherr, Kurt and Ororo Wagner, Piotr (algebra/pre-algebra) and Katherine (sophomore English and also some junior English classes so Doom doesn't have them all) Rasputin, Reed (one of four counselors) and Susan (another of four counselors) Richards, Remy and Anna Maria (with student attendance and lost/found, and who is apparently called Rogue by all the students) LeBeau, and Scott (walking fitness and a teacher-TA in metals shop because he really likes working the lasers) and Jean (another of four counselors), Summers. Those married to non-school employees are Barbara Morse (a librarian), Benjamin Grimm (weight training and walking fitness with Scott on occasion), Chester Phillips (US History), Norman Osborne (one of the Spanish teachers), Stephen Strange (Calculus and trigonometry), and Victoria Hand.

That's as much as Tony knows, and that's as much as Phil _cares_ to know.

And then Tony and Phil are whisked away in opposite directions for dances, and the party just…keeps…going.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY…  
Saturday…_

Tony stumbles into Phil's house at about two in the morning, having parked in the garage again thanks to Phil slipping him the garage door opener before he left the party an hour before Tony did. Phil is parked on the left outside and Jim meows before rubbing up against his ankles.

"Heyuh, Jimmy," he whispers, not wanting to wake Phil. He bends down and picks her up, scratching between her ears. "Know where daddy is?"

She meows and rubs up against his hand, starting to purr.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He walks down to Phil's open bedroom door and kicks off his shoes on the carpet before kissing Jim's neck and setting her down. He strips himself and then grabs Phil's pajama bottoms that he's not wearing on the floor to put them on over nothing, and then does his absolute best to slip into the bed without waking Phil.

It doesn't work even a little bit, though. The man rolls over right away, eyes open all the way.

"Where you even sleeping?" Tony asks with a cocked eyebrow.

"I wake up very easily," he says groggily. "How was the party?"

Tony notices when he crawls in all the way that Phil is going commando. "It was good, just like all the others. I stayed until Maria kicked everybody out. I cannot even remember the last time I danced so much. My legs hurt."

Phil smirks and leans up to kiss him lightly. "I'll put you on your back, then?"

Tony moans, wishing he had just come in naked as well. He just thought he'd be able to get passed Phil without waking him up. Oh well!

Phil rolls them over so that Tony is being held to the bed by his hands and kisses him hard. He trails kisses to his neck and then drags his teeth lightly down his skin, going across his chest and to the far nipple. Tony moans as he sucks in, wiggling his hands a little to try and get out from under Phil's own hands. It's useless, though. He's totally pinned.

When Phil finally releases him he trails his lips down Tony's stomach, warm breath washing over Tony's skin. He reaches his hands down to pull the pajama bottoms off, tossing them onto the floor. He kisses up Tony's leg from his knee, and _damn_ does he get close, but _no_, he just kisses up his thigh and goes right passed his growing hard-on. When he leans up to reach for the lube on the nightstand, Tony grabs his wrist.

Phil smiles down at him. "Just going to stare at me all night?"

Tony smiles back. "Will you whisper to me now?"

Phil bends down and kisses Tony softly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He trails his lips to the hollow behind Tony's ear and nibbles lightly at the earlobe and traces his tongue up to the top rim before pulling away just far enough that his lips brush the ear every time they move while he speaks: "I've never seen anyone so beautiful, you know. I've never heard anyone sound so perfect. I don't care what we have to do, but we're going to get through this—all of this. You're _mine_."

Tony's heart has never exploded before, and he finds that it's a very confusing sensation. It hurts, but he likes it. He's an…emotional masochist? Whatever.

He turns his head and kisses him deeply, reaching up with one of his hands to grab the lube before shoving it into Phil's hand. "Definitely yours," he says against his lips. "Always. I lo—" Phil sucks in on his bottom lip, and Tony moans, reaching his hands up to cradle Phil's face. "I want you, Phil. You're so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. I want you to be—"

"Yours," Phil finishes, his free hand sliding down to grip onto Tony's thigh. "Yours. You're mine, I'm yours, and we're each others. I want you for always, Tony."

They roll over, and Phil slicks two of his fingers before bending back down to kiss him while he's stretching him. Tony can tell that Phil really loves swallowing his moans. When Tony is stretched, Phil lubes up his length before putting Tony's legs over his shoulders and positioning himself. Tony pushes back right away, wanting to be full of Phil _now_.

Phil releases a breathy moan and leans back down to kiss Tony in a way that's somehow soft and hard all at once, and Tony kisses him right back, sucking in on his tongue.

"Phil, I—oh, _fuck_." Stars explode behind his eyes, and Phil breathes a laugh.

"I can't get over your voice, Tone," he says around a moan. "You just—damn. How you sound when you sing and laugh and giggle. The way your tongue rolls when you're tired. The whimpers you make…"

Phil moves to hit Tony's prostate again, causing Tony to do just that.

"Yeah, just like that. You're so beautiful."

Tony comes in a flourish, and he pumps back against Phil until he does as well, bending down to moan into the curve of Tony's neck to his shoulder. Phil pulls out and lies down half on and half off of Tony, kissing anywhere that his lips can reach. Tony turns and kisses him back after his breathing is steady, reaching a hand up to hold against his cheek.

"So, like…we're boyfriends, right? I can call you that around people who know about it?"

Phil breathes a laugh, reaching his own hand up to hold it to his face. "Do I get to call you 'babe'?" he asks, kissing Tony's hand.

Tony grins. "You can if I can call you 'baby'."

Phil grins back and pulls the blankets up to their shoulders before pulling Tony' into his arms. "Deal."

* * *

End part notes: Yes I made up Venom's last name-obviously. Haha.


	3. Part III

[Part summary: In which Phil falls in love, the lovebirds welcome fluffy little Jill into their family, and Fury doesn't care.]

**Part III**

_TONY  
Three Weeks Later  
October 13  
Saturday…_

Tony and Phil had woken up at about one in the afternoon of that Saturday, which wasn't surprising after that had happened the night before and even just in the bed. Tony had stayed until about six (after a couple movies, eating a _lot_, playing a few games, and playing with Jim while Phil graded papers).

When Tony got home he cleaned a _lot_, and now…well, actually, now he's cleaning again. AC/DC is blaring and he's in a holey t-shirt and grass stained sweats from mowing what little lawn he has out front and the actually hefty amount in the back. He also took down the inflatable pool he had, sad that he and Phil wouldn't have been able to use it anyway since they couldn't be seen together. They'll just have to shove themselves into Tony's tub or something, since Phil's shower is one of those with glass doors that doesn't actually _have_ a tub.

The last three weeks have been…busy, but not really. Busy with sex, keeping the his and Phil's relationship a secret, pretending to be dating Natasha, and knocking Clint over the head when he goes to give Bruce a big kiss in front of her to make her jealous. Thor has actually been very helpful—not for the fact that he's really good at keeping secrets (which he is), but because he's good at making _Loki_ keep secrets. It's very nice not having to deal with his cunt side.

He doesn't _think_ that anyone is suspicious at all, and that's even with Tony and Phil laughing with each other during class and Tony poking his head into his classroom to say goodbye even though he's texting him and will probably hang out with him later. He hangs out with his other friends as well, of course, going shopping and quad riding and hell, he even plays with Thor's Great Dane puppy (who's named Mjölnir, which is a Norse name that means "crusher"). He also puts together a miniature C3P-O with Bruce to go with the miniature R2-D2, and he helps Pepper and Happy (who are now dating since Happy asked her after Hill's party) find a few more clients for their "essay writing business" (he's pretty sure Fury actually knows about it, too, but just doesn't care enough to stop them).

Now, though, on this slowly-getting-colder-and-colder day, Tony has just finished cleaning his house again, so he grabs up his phone and texts Phil to see if he wants to hang out.

**You can come over here if you want to watch me clean and grade papers**, he replies.

Tony smiles, dancing off to his room to get dressed in real clothes (AKA out of his dirty sweats and a holey t-shirt and into a pair of clean sweats and shirt that doesn't smell like he's been sweating in it all day). Phil had two boxes with buttons for the garage door, and now the second one is hooked up beside the one for Tony's two doors on the passenger visor so Phil doesn't always have to go and open it for him so he can park inside.

He flits to the font door when he has all his things and everything in the house is turned off, and when he opens the front door to get out to his car (he didn't park inside because the check from his dad came in this morning and he went off to the grocery store, and he knew he'd probably be going to Phil's place so he didn't feel like pulling in to just back out later), he's greeted with a very _un_pleasant surprise.

"Dad!" he exclaims. "What are you—why are you here? I got your check."

Howard gives him a stern look. "I'm here to make sure the outside of the house is in order."

Tony glares. His dad comes by every once in a while to make sure the his house looks good from the outside in case the media figures out that they're not living together. That way, if they do, they won't be able to bitch about Tony not being treated well and just that it's odd for them to be living apart. It's not like it matters, though. He has so many different houses that he could just tell all of them that he travels too much and wanted Tony to be as happy as he could be without him be around as often enough as a normal father.

"Don't you ever drop by to say _hi_?"

Howard cocks an eyebrow. "Do you _want_ me to drop by to say hi?"

"No."

"I know. That's why I don't."

"Yeah right, you're just too busy for me."

"I'm a business man, Tony."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Fuck you," he says, going over to his car.

"Don't talk to me like that, boy!"

Tony raises his hand to flip him off.

Howard gives an angry sigh. "You should keep your blinds closed."

Tony frowns, turning around to look at him. "What?"

"Keep your blinds shut so nobody can look into them."

"Yeah, whatever." He swings into his car and locks the doors, backing out and driving away before his dad can do anything about it. He has a key to get inside if he wants; it's a good thing Tony decided to clean today.

"Fuck," he whispers, slowing down to the speed limit. Why does his dad always have to ruin everything? What an asshole. If he would show up to say hi more often then maybe Tony _would_ want him to. He's just… He's always been too busy for Tony—even when his mom was still alive. He was too busy for her, too. She and Tony actually got along, at least. They could talk about how their day had gone and Tony would hide all of her cigarettes, but hey, that didn't stop the car crash she got into.

Tony reaches up to wipe at his eyes, angry that he's crying. He almost always cries when his dad comes over. He's such a dick.

Tony walks into Phil's house through the garage, as usual, and quick wipes away anymore escaped tears. Hopefully his eyes aren't too red. He walks in to where he hears Phil in the kitchen, working on putting the dishes into the washer.

"Where's Jim?" Tony asks. "She always greets me at the door."

Phil sighs, putting in the dish he's holding and turning around to face Tony. "She, uh…got out when I was going to check the mail, and…" He sighs again. "The car was going way over the speed limit out here. She probably didn't even feel it."

Tony actually starts crying again. "You let her _die_?!" No, that's not what he meant to say. He knows Phil didn't let her die. He just…cars. Fucking cars. "She was your _pet_! How could you—fuck." He walks out of the kitchen and flops facedown on the couch, hiding his sobs.

A hand rests itself on Tony's back, and another begins to play through his hair. "What happened, Tony?" Phil asks quietly.

Tony can't answer right away. He's crying too hard.

Phil pulls him into his arms on the floor, whispering whatever soothing things can come to his head while he doesn't have a clue what's going on.

Tony eventually stops crying, and once he's breathing right he pulls away to wipe his face with the front of his shirt. "I would have ran away from me a long time ago if I were you," he says quietly, looking at the wet spot on Phil's t-shirt shoulder.

Phil gives a very quiet, breathy laugh, pulling Tony back into his arms. "I don't run from things, Tony. Will you tell me what happened?"

Tony sighs, wrapping his arms around Phil's stomach since his are around Tony's shoulders. "I ran into my dad today." He keeps going before Phil can comment: "He comes over ever once in a while to make sure that the house looks okay from the outside. You know, just in case the media finds out that we don't live together. If it looks like shit then he sends someone to fix it up, because he doesn't want the press to have more to bitch about than they'll already have about us not even living in the same house. I don't see why it matters, though. I mean, he has so many different house he could just tell all of them that he travels to much and wanted me to be as happy as I could be without him be around as often enough as a normal father." He sighs, holding Phil a little tighter. "Anyway, I was crying because we got into a fight. We also do when we see each other, so I don't understand why he doesn't just send somebody else to check up on me. There are a select few that know I live out here by myself, after all. I suppose they have more important things to do, though…"

Phil sighs as well, rubbing lightly at his back. "What was the argument about it?"

"Something stupid about the blinds needing to always be shut in case someone tries to peek into the windows."

Phil breathes a laugh. "I never have liked businessmen."

Tony laughs, leaning back and wiping at his eyes again. "You might not want to stay with me, then. I'm going to be one sooner or later."

Phil smiles and kisses the tip of his nose. "You're different."

"How?"

"I'll have known you before you became one."

Tony smiles too, leaning back against him and arching his neck up to kiss the bottom of his chin. "Can we get another cat?"

Phil chuckles. "_We_? Jim was _mine_, she just liked you better."

Tony kisses up to his forehead. "Well, this time it will be _our_ cat."

Phil kisses the corner of Tony's mouth. "Should we get a boy this time so we can name him Jill?"

Tony grins. "Definitely."

"Good. Want to help me do the dishes?"

Tony snorts. "Not particularly."

Phil laughs. "Fine, you can watch a movie then. Try and pick something we've already watched together so I don't get distracted."

Tony puts in It's A Wonderful Life as soon as Phil is back in the kitchen, lying down on the couch and burying himself underneath the blanket that Phil keeps there for him now. He grabs a couch pillow and holds it tight instead of using it, taking deep breaths so he doesn't start crying again.

He lies there for…well, a long time. The movie ends sooner or later, but Tony just keeps staring at the old screen, watching the salt and pepper scribbles dance across until the DVD starts playing again by itself.

Phil comes into the living room eventually, dropping all his things to grade on the floor and sitting down to lean against the couch beside Tony's head.

"You should try and get some sleep," he says quietly, pushing his fingers through Tony's hair.

Tony sighs. "I hate sleeping."

Phil gives a small but warm smile. "I don't like it either. Will you try if I try with you?"

"No, I… You need to finish your papers. Maybe after the papers."

Phil kisses the corner of his mouth. "I can finish the papers tomorrow, Tony."

"No, you should…should…"

Phil kisses him softly on the mouth, and Tony sighs against him, not wanting to stop him from his work but really wanting to anyway.

"Phil, you—"

Phil kisses him again before pulling away. "Just go to sleep, babe."

Tony lets out a deep breath and reaches out to hold onto the sleeve of Phil's shirt (he'd take his hand except that he'll need it to grade things). "Okay," he says quietly. And he does, because he knows that he should, and because Phil told him to.

**XxX**

_Sunday…_

Tony has no idea what time it is when he wakes up, but he's certainly not on the couch anymore. It's dark, and upon looking around he finds that he's actually in Phil's bed—without Phil. He must have carried him here. He's done that a couple of times before.

He stretches out and rolls out of the bed, pulling off his t-shirt and taking off his belt. He goes out to the living room, where Phil is tapping lightly to the music from the headphones he's got on that are connected to Tony's iPod, holding an empty glass of wine with his eyes shut lightly.

"Hey," Tony says.

Phil opens his eyes, so the music must not be very loud. He smiles and clicks around on the iPod before pulling out both headphones. "Hey," he says back. "Sleep well?"

Tony nods, going over to sit down on the floor beside him, just like he had done last night. "What time is it?"

He looks at the iPod. "Just passed one."

"Did you finish your papers?"

"Yup. Any dreams?"

"Nothing I remember."

Phil gives a warm smile and reaches out to caress the side of Tony's face. "Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?"

Tony smiles. "I don't think so."

"Well, your eyes are beautiful."

Tony reaches up to weave his fingers backwards into Phil's hand. "You need to sleep, too."

He breathes a laugh. "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

"That will come sooner than you think if you plan to wait. The body needs to sleep."

"At least you'll be with me."

Tony frowns. "Now I'm going to _make_ you sleep."

Phil holds his fingers tighter. "Kiss me instead."

Tony smiles, leaning forward to do so. He tastes like wine and…cherries?

"You taste good," Tony muses.

Phil chuckles. "I ate all of the ice cream candy cherries."

Tony finds himself, for some reason, laughing uncontrollably on the floor. Phil laughs with him, rolling off the couch to lie beside him. Tony kisses him deeply, holding onto the side of his face.

"You need to sleep," he says, pulling them into sitting positions. "Come sleep with me."

Phil giggles a little. Tony has never heard him giggle before. He laughs and all other things, but he doesn't giggle.

"Okay," he says, letting Tony pull him up.

When they get back to the bedroom, Tony strips them both down to their underwear and pulls the blankets over them, wrapping his arms around Phil's stomach.

"Baby?" he says quietly.

Phil is already asleep, though.

Tony pulls his head up and looks down at him for a long while before kissing his chin. "I love you," he whispers.

And he knows that Phil doesn't hear him, so maybe he'll tell him in the morning. Just maybe…

**OoOoOoO**

_PHIL  
Three Months and Five Days Later  
January 18…_

It's a Friday when it happens. The first semester finals (and Maria's second party) just happened two weekends ago, and now Tony and Phil are out in public—not alone, of course. That would be silly. They're out in a rather large group of fifteen (including themselves), these other twelve being Natasha (who is still exceedingly jealous of her boyfriends since she and Tony are still pretending to date), Bruce, Clint, Steve, Loki, Thor, Pepper, Happy, and also multiple teachers: Maria, Alisa, Doom (Phil doesn't like him, so he mostly just stands on the opposite side of the group to him), and Wade and Peter Wilson (Tony was right; they had kept _their_ relationship a secret for two entire years, and the entire SHIELD High School staff was invited to last months wedding). Fury almost came too, but he opted out for sitting by himself.

Phil and Tony have a male cat named Jill now, living with Phil as Jim did and looking nothing like her short tabby fur with his white and grey fluff ball look. They got him as different as they could so they wouldn't accidentally call him Jim.

They've all come in multiple cars, of course, and are heading into the restaurant they've all parked in front of, having made reservations for their party of fifteen back on Monday. It's not really for any purpose except that the next two weeks are going to be their Christmas break. It was just going to be him, Alisa, and the nine students, but Alisa invited Maria, who invited Doom (Phil doesn't understand why yet), who invited the newest happy couple. Apparently Doom and Wade were friends back in their own high school says (Wade as a freshman and Doom a senior) and liked to throw Ax bombs into the girls locker room.

The table has been put together for sixteen (Fury only canceled just this morning), and with Doom sitting at one of the ends, from his right in order is Maria, Alisa, Phil, Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Fury's empty spot at the other end, Thor, Loki, Pepper, Happy, Steve, Peter, and then Wade back on Doom's left. The table isn't long enough for seven people on each side, but they've pushed multiple tables together to make it so.

Tony has his arm around Natasha's shoulder, and since their side is on a booth, Phil ends up mashed between Tony and Alisa as well, so Tony has his calf wrapped around Phil's under the table. Clint has gotten bored of making Natasha jealous by now, but Phil and Doom still have childish spats whenever they make eye contact—and that number isn't lowered with how often Doom seems to be watching him.

It's halfway through the main course (with mostly separate checks) that Phil notices that Doom is not only staring, but _glaring_.

"What do you _want_?" Phil snaps once he's swallowed his bite of twice-stuffed baked potato.

Doom smirks. "I want you to tell Fury that you're—"

But Maria slams her hand over his mouth before he can finish. "Don't make me regret having invited you." She drops her hand. "Keep your mouth _shut_."

Alisa glares darkly at him, and the way that Doom cowers makes it seem like she's done a lot more than just the glare. Alisa has always had that ability, though, to have a silent conversation with someone. Phil is used to it.

The table stares at the three of them for a few more moments before going back to a very awkward meal, and the silence stretches on for about a minute before Thor—wonderful, heaven sent Thor—decides he's had enough of it:

"I believe we should _all_ obtain dreadlocks!" he says brightly. It's completely random, and that makes it perfect.

Phil forces himself not to look at Tony for the rest of his potato, and the student has also pulled their legs apart. They both know that Doom, Maria, _and_ Alisa know—which means Fury knows as well. Phil can't say he's surprised, really. The Fury, Maria, and Alisa like him enough to pay attention, and Doom _dis_likes him enough to pay attention. The real question, though, is how _long_ have they all known?

When dessert rolls along, all tension is gone from the air and Tony has his leg around Phil's again.

Phil gets a text just before everyone is finished, talking brightly about whatever they want: **U should call Fury later.**

Phil puts his phone away and gives a subtle nod, knowing that Tony sees it.

All fifteen of them end up talking after they've paid, just like good friends, and then they head off to their separate cars (Tony in his Audi with Natasha, Steve with his very big "creeper van"—as all the students call it—with all of the other students, Peter's car with Wade and Doom, and finally Maria's Jeep Wrangler with Phil and Alisa).

Before Maria starts her car, though, someone knocks on the window—followed by Tony crawling in with Phil in the back seat.

"Okay, spill," he mutters to the women. "How long have you two known?"

Phil holds his breath as Maria and Alisa have a very long silent conversation with their eyes.

Finally, Alisa sighs. "We figured it out about two weeks ago. We told Fury because…well, we had to. It didn't matter, though, since he figured it out about a month ago. We have no idea about Doom, though."

Phil and Tony sigh.

"Okay, so…" Phil says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "_Why_ haven't I been fired yet?"

The two women smirk at him. "Fury will tell you if you ask him," Alisa says.

Tony frowns. "What about Natasha?"

"Oh, we _know_ about her and _her_ two boys," Maria says, flitting her wrist. "The bedroom eyes that bounce between the three of them were impossible to miss after we figured out about you two."

Phil sighs again, rubbing his hands down his face. "What's going to happen now?"

"_We_," Tony says, taking his hand, "are going clubbing. It's Friday night and sleep is for the weak!" He grins over at the women. "You two wanna come? Steve already took everyone home, and I watched Mr. Parker's car drive away before I knocked."

Maria and Alisa purse their lips, glance at each other, and then nod.

"Can we go to mine?" Maria asks.

Tony smirks. "I already called Heimdall and told him we're coming."

She whoops and starts the Jeep, driving off.

Tony scoots up right beside Phil and leans up to whisper in his ear, "The cool thing about Maria's place is that I've never once seen anyone there that goes to school with us."

Phil smiles. "Good."

Tony gives him a soft, silent kiss. Phil knows that Alisa is probably watching them from the corner of her eye and Maria with her rearview mirror, but…well, he kisses him back anyway, reaching up to rest a hand on the side of his face.

"Hey now," Alisa says, grinning back at them. "We're parking already. Don't get into anything."

Tony giggles and kisses Phil's cheek. "Come on," he says, swinging out.

Phil looks up at the very bright and colorful neon sign: _The Bifrost_.

"Bifrost is 'bridge' in Norse," Tony says as Maria and Alisa get out as well. "They call it that because it's a place specifically for those of all sexual orientations. It's like they're bridging the gap between straight people and homosexuals."

Phil frowns, looking over at Maria. "Are you a lesbian now?"

She smirks. "Would that be a problem, gay boy?"

"No, I just think it's funny that we both changed our sexual orientations after sleeping together."

She laughs. "Well, I'm bisexual, so no need to be _that_ amazed. Come on, I want to dance again."

The four of them go straight to the front of the line, and the bouncer up front gives a huge smile when he sees them.

"Hello, Maria!" he says. "It is lovely to see you again."

"Hi, Heimdall," she grins, pushing up to kiss his cheek.

"Nice to see you too, Tone," he says, pushing open the door for them. "No drinks, now."

Tony grins. "'Course not. 'Ria's still gotta drive me back to my car so I can get home."

The inside of the club is very open, loud, and filled with strobe and black lights. There's a spiral staircase up to a second floor, blocked off by tall rails so nobody can fall or jump off from anywhere. There are poles placed around in corners and a few other places, raised up in ways so you can see all the girls dancing from anywhere in the giant room.

Phil frowns, leaning down to Tony's ear. "This place is a strip club and a dance club combined?"

Maria hears him though and confirms that, yes, it is, before grabbing Alisa to go with her while she changes into one of her old stripper outfits (she probably knows all of the employees since she worked here, so she can still get into rooms off-limits to patrons), and Tony bounces his eyebrows at Phil before taking his hand and pulling him out to the floor. Phil has been wearing jeans and t-shirts a lot lately, so thank god he doesn't have to dance in a suit.

The wonderful thing about dancing in the dark and at a place that no one knows you is that you don't have to worry about anyone seeing a boner. It's a good thing, too, because Tony is a god with his hips.

Phil loves the way he can splay his fingers over Tony's sides and nobody care. The way he can sway with his rhythm and not have to hold back so he _doesn't_ end up with a hard-on. The way-dammit, it's everything. The way that everything.

Tony turns around after a few songs, facing Phil and grinding against his leg. Tony pulls him down by the front of his shirt and kisses him softly, and when he pulls away, even in the darkness Phil can see how dark with lust his eyes are.

"For someone who never had any friends and therefore never really danced," Tony says lust loud enough for him to hear, "you are really fucking good at this."

Phil laughs, bending back down to kiss him again.

They end up off of the floor over by a wall, Phil pinning Tony's arms against it as they kiss.

"I fucking love your tongue," Tony breathes (how Phil hears him, he has no idea).

Phil chuckles and gives it to him, holding back his moan as Tony sucks in on it. And when he pulls away and gives Phil those eyes he's been pretending to give Natasha—the ones where he's so in love and the brown irises sparkle in the darkness and its flashing lights, and when his smile crinkles up the corners… Well, Phil finally falls. He's an adult, he shouldn't be able to fall in love in just under three months. That's a high school thing, isn't it? Maybe Phil _fell_ for one, but that doesn't mean he _is_ one…

But he finds himself giving Tony that same smile because, because does it really matter? Does it matter how fast you fall in love just as long as you know it's real? Not the type of real where you're both drunk and want to get married in a drive-through Vegas chapel, and not the type where you talked on an online dating site for five minutes. It's the real where you've stayed together and you know each other, and you've held the other while they've cried and gotten a pet together and sometimes clean together and kiss in the middle of movies… _That_ real kind.

"Tony, I lo—"

"I love you, baby," Tony says, kissing him softly. "I fucking love you."

Phil kisses him back, reaching his hands up to hold onto the sides of Tony's face. Tony's own hands latch onto Phil's hips, fingers digging into his skin in the most wanted of ways.

"I love you too, Tony," Phil whispers into his ear. "You don't even know."

Tony wraps his arms fully around Phil's waist. "Really?"

"Really."

Tony leans back and looks like he's about to say something before glancing behind Phil. He glances right back, though, and grins. "I love you so much I don't even want to go over and watch Hill work the pole."

Phil's eyes widen. "What?" He spins around and, yes, Maria is on the very middle one. "No way, we _have_ to watch that! She'll kill us if we don't!"

Tony laughs, pushing up on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Good, because as attractive as she is, you are _way_ more so, and I really just want to root her on."

Phil laughs too, dragging him after him. Of all the places he could fall in love, he _would_ do so in a strip/dance club with his ex-girlfriend dancing pole in a skimpy show outfit. He doesn't know what his life has become, but he loves it.

**XxX**

_Saturday…_

Phil wakes up in a room that's not his own, but almost instantly he places that it's just Tony's room. Tony is draped sideways across his stomach, and…

Phil frowns. Is that Maria on the floor? And Alisa curled up beside her?

The oddity comes back to him quickly. Maria had gotten rather drunk and Tony said he'd drive her home, but halfway back she passed out and he didn't want to carry her into her hours (that he had no idea how to get inside) by himself. So he called Phil and Alisa to his place, since it was closer, and they all tucked her in on the floor. The three without Maria had chatted for who knows how long, but Phil was lying down and finally fell asleep in the idle of Tony's sentence.

Oh looks over at the bedroom clock to see that it's only seven in the morning… If they stayed at the club until its closing time at two and then talked and whatnot, he'd probably only gotten a max of three hours of sleep. Why did he wake up, then?

Tony gives a pained moan, curling uncomfortable in on himself.

Ah, that's why.

"Tony?" Phil says, shaking him lightly.

Tony snaps awake with a gasp. "Ah, fuck," he mutters, looking around. "Phil?"

"Right here, babe," he says, pushing his fingers through his hair.

"Ugh, I fucking hate nightmares." He pushes himself up and changes his position, dropping down to lie half on and half off of Phil. "Do you ever drown in your dreams?"

Phil shrugs. "I probably have before."

Tony nods, kissing his chin. "I'm terrified of suffocating."

Phil chuckles. "Even during kisses."

Tony snorts. "Obviously not."

Phil smiles and pulls him in for one, wrapping his arms around his back. "I love you," he whispers.

Tony smiles and rubs the tips of their noses together. "I love you too."

Phil pulls the blankets over them and holds Tony as he falls asleep with his head on his chest, Phil dancing his fingers across his back until he too is pulled back under.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
Saturday…_

Tony wakes up to a pillow being thrown in his face, waking both him and Phil with a start.

"It's one in the afternoon and I have a hangover," Maria growls. "Take us home."

Tony groans. "No. Your Jeep is out front; take it yourselves."

Alisa sighs. "Come on, 'Ria," she says. "We can hang out at my place. I have the perfect hangover remedy."

Tony snuggles back against Phil as they leave, listening until the car drives away as well.

"That is so weird," Phil muses.

Tony frowns. "What is?"

"The fact that three of your teachers just stayed over at your house after going to a strip and dance club.

Tony laughs. "It's wonderful, isn't it?"

Phil smiles and kisses his forehead. "I need a shower."

"Ditto," Tony says, stretching out. "And to brush my teeth."

They do the latter first, followed by a very heated former in which they have to turn the water colder so they don't get _over_heated. Afterwards they eat, and then Phil sits and watches Tony work at the dining room table.

"I should call Fury," Phil sighs at length.

Tony nods. "Can you put him on speaker?"

"No, just come sit on my lap so you can hear it. I don't want it to echo weird."

Tony nods and does as Phil dials, kissing his cheek before listening closely:

"_Principle Nick Fury speaking."_

"Uh, hi," Phil starts out. "It's Phil."

Fury chuckles. _"Hill and my sister called to warn me about an hour ago. I called Doom and told him to keep his mouth shut."_

Tony and Phil frown. "But _why_, sir?" Phil asks. "Why are you protecting me for this?"

"_Because, Coulson, you are a very good teacher, and Stark is a very good student. You're old enough to make your own decisions, and he's been old enough since sixth grade."_

Tony wrinkles his nose up, but before Phil can ask how Fury knew about that for him, Fury continues: _"Yes, Stark, I know you're there."_

Tony rolls his eyes a little. "When did you find out about that, sir?"

_"Back when you were a freshman. I like to know my students as best as I can without bonding with them. About the relationship between you two, though…"_

Tony snatches the phone away and drops to the floor and then talks as fast as he can: "It's all my fault don't fir—" He cuts off when Phil snatches the phone back.

He's silent for a moment, listening to whatever Fury is saying.

"I…what?" he says, getting down to lie beside Tony. "Can you please repeat that?"

Tony hears Fury chuckle. _"I don't care if you two are fucking, Coulson. You can do what you want."_

Tony whoops, kissing Phil hard on the mouth.

"Good lord, Tony, not right now," Phil says before kissing again. "Why though, sir?" he asks into the phone when he pulls away. "_Why_ don't you care?"

_"How many things can you name that I DO care about, Coulson?"_

Tony chuckles and Phil purses his lips. "None, sir," he says.

_"Precisely. Just make sure you continue to keep is secret from the students, boys. If the parents get word of this, both of you are going down with me."_

Tony and Phil speak at the same time:

"Of course, sir."

"Understood, sir."

_"Good. I'll see you two on Monday unless I can help it."_ And he hangs up.

Tony and Phil lie there on the kitchen floor in silence before Tony kisses him again, crawling to sit on top of him.

It really is a wonderful life.


	4. Epilogue

[Part summary: In which the students graduate, Natasha gets her boys back, and Phil and Tony learn about Happily Ever After's.]

**Epilogue**

_PHIL  
Three Days Shy of Five Months Later  
June 12  
Thursday…_

Phil watches all of the students walk up for their high school diplomas from where's he's seated in the teacher section between Maria and Alisa, with Fury on Alisa's other side. Of Tony's seven closest friends, "Banner, Robert" goes up first (Phil had no idea Bruce's first name wasn't actually Bruce!), followed by "Barton, Clinton" (another unknown full name), "Laufeyson, Loki", "Odinson, Thor", "Potts, Virginia" (and another…), "Rogers, Steven" (that one he just assumed), "Romanov, Natasha", and finally "Stark, Anthony" way back in the Steve's.

Phil has to resist the urge to jump up to go and give him again and instead settles for clapping with everyone else. They're still on school property, after all, and there are tons of parents here, so they still have a while longer that they have to keep what they've been through under wraps.

Not that they did a huge amount of that after Tony's eighteenth birthday, really. Tony knew that his father would stop sending him checks as soon as he turned of age, so Tony got a job for after high school classes back after Maria's second party to start saving up, not to mention not paying for anything he didn't need for those three months. But the most significant? Phil moved in with him. Maria and Alisa both told him how stupid that was, as did P and Steve, but both Phil and Tony figured that if they could survive an entire school year having to pretend that they weren't a couple, plus the fact that half of their things each had seemed to migrate back and forth between the two houses… Well, why not? They all but lived together anyway, what with always staying over with each other and taking care of Jill together.

Phil finished moving completely into Tony's place (they chose Tony's because one, it's closer to school even by that little bit and two, there was no way they were going to abandon Tony's home theater room _or_ that Phil was going to make Tony clean off his kitchen table) a month ago, then had it completely cleaned and fixed up (the walls and the carpets and _everything_) a week after that, and then just last week he even managed to get it rented out to a nice little family of three. He would have just sold it, but Tony talked him into renting it so they would get more money out of it after a longer period of time instead of just getting a lot right away. The kid—no, he's eighteen now—the man is absolutely brilliant and very business savvy. He's going to make a great asset to Stark Industries as soon as he takes over.

They had a huge ass garage sale, too, which was so much fun that Phil almost drove away a couple of customers with his tears of laughter. All of Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Steve, and P came as well, selling a few of their own things in the process. They each had different colored stickers on whatever they were selling so they would know who the money went to, Natasha's being red, Bruce's green, Clint's purple, Steve's blue, P's orange, Tony's gold, and Phil's yellow even though he and Tony were just going to shove the money in together when it was all over. Tony just likes making things into contests—not as much as Loki, though. Maria really meant it when she said that they were Loki's favorite part about her party's way back at the first one (the last was just last night; one big graduation party with some juniors mixed in from Tony's group of twenty-four).

Phil's very favorite part about the graduation, though, was Tony's speech at the beginning, since he was chosen to be valedictorian because of his four-point-oh accumulative GPA (it's hard to get anything lower when he's had nothing but A's since his first freshman grade, though). It made a hell of a lot of jokes and, if Phil didn't know him, he'd just think he was some punk kid who the teachers liked for no reason and decided he should wish everyone luck because he's popular. Instead, though, he's the smartest kid in school _and_ the most popular.

Tony blows him a kiss as he walks off of the stage after getting his scroll of paper, spinning over to the growing group of seniors who had gotten them before him—where N is unabashedly going back and forth between kissing Bruce and Clint. They "broke up" just before graduation.

Everything blows by very quickly after that, but that's mostly because Phil and Tony are texting the entire time. And then everyone is driving off to Maria's house for the party—every last senior, and Phil knows that because Maria keeps a sign-in sheet this time. It's a very good thing that Maria's property is large.

Phil and Tony ditch off during the first contest, since Phil can't sing and Tony isn't allowed to participate since he did the first time, already having a narrowed-eye permission from Maria to hide away in the guest bedroom—for no more than an hour, but Phil's just surprised she's letting them in the first place.

As they're lying there in their aftermath, Phil kissing Tony's face, Tony whispers:

"My dad knows about us."

Phil pulls away to frown. "He does?"

Tony nods. "I told him when you were completely moved in with me."

Phil presses his lips into a soft line. "And what did he say?"

"Well, first he got all pissy that I won't be able to 'carry on the Stark bloodline', then he had somebody look up everything about you on the internet."

Phil cringes a little. "And…?"

Tony laughs. "He made fun of the fact that you didn't finish college, but aside form that he actually agreed that you're alright."

Phil isn't sure if he should smile or not, so he does. "That means you're still the only one in the Will, right?"

Tony smirks. "Always have been, always will. He'll never, even in death, let his company go under."

Phil kisses him again, because their hour is almost up, and if he's just had sex with his boyfriend in the house of his ex-girlfriend… Well, he might as well make the most of it.

_**-The End-**_


End file.
